[ Watashi ]

[ Tomodachi ]

[ Saint Seiya ]

[ Clamp ]

[ Fanfiction ]

"I'm telling you I have to accompany you, so accompany you I will!"

There was a tone of stubborn finality in Ophiuchus Shaina's voice which might have been funny in other circumstances. As it was, it just half-worried, half-angered Merle. Shaking his head, he said reasonably, "It would be stupid. You've already exerted yourself coming all the way to find me, and with your wounds--"

The Silver Saint snorted disdainfully beside him. "What's with my wounds? Do you think I'm anything like a pampered little girl who runs crying to her mother at the smallest scratch?"

Merle looked away from the young woman, and shrugged in a helpless fashion. He'd tried his best severe and remote expression, but of course that hadn't worked on Shaina, as he should have known it wouldn't. Well, let her come if she absolutely wanted to, Merle would somehow find a way to keep her out of any confrontations which might take place. Certainly....

Discarding the matter entirely, he turned towards the looming barrier of mountains barring the way into the Sanctuary, telling Shaina, "suit yourself, but I won't slow down for anything." The he ran ahead, a humorless smile coming to his lips when he heard the Ophiuchus Saint cursing furiously behind him. She'd be all right, she'd just be forced to stay behind, which would keep her out of harm's way, or so Merle hoped.

He turned his mind towards what was before him, and felt distress spreading into his heart like a poison as he envisioned confronting both Aquila Marin and Lune. Try though he might, he had no idea what would happen, he couldn't figure out what he should do, how he could truly help matters. He only knew he had to go, for the both of them. Oh yes, for Lune as well.

Merle had felt fury and dread clutching at his soul when he'd heard Shaina's account of how Marin had reacted since her defeat.

Fury, because he knew that Lune never did anything by accident. Whatever it was that had hurt the Aquila Saint so badly had been deliberately inflicted. Lune wasn't a fool like him who allowed his emotions to take over and as a result unwillingly triggered disasters. He judged his opponent in the blink of an eye and then struck, applying just as much strength as was required to defeat the adversary while hurting him or her as little as possible. Lune didn't do that out of the goodness of his heart, he did it because it was like a game, a challenge to his abilities, and also because to wound someone more than necessary was a waste.

And Merle had also felt dread, because he knew that Lune didn't really understand the female Saint's nature, and might have unwittingly harmed Marin far more grievously than he had intended.

If only Merle hadn't challenged the Aquila Saint, he'd have been there, and he'd have prevented all this mess from happening. He'd have been there for Marin and for Lune.

Lune, whose heart nobody but Merle knew.

Shaking his head, Merle accelerated, dismissing the blazing heat of the late summer sun. Lune would do anything to reach his goal sacrifice anything without hesitation, but that was only one side of him. Lune also cared, far more deeply than most people did. Despite the indifferent exterior he showed others, Merle knew his friend never allowed himself to forget or ignore the consequences of his actions. And somewhere, in a deep, secret shadow of Lune's heart, Merle knew that the redhead grieved.

It was an incredible chance that Lune had somehow been prevented from reaching the Altar of Athena. If Merle managed to reach him before he could win over whichever obstacle had been set in his way, perhaps....

Just perhaps....

Damn, this water jar was so heavy! Gritting my teeth, I tried not to count the steps until I reached my house and would be free to set the instrument of torture down. Funny how a dozen meters could suddenly become a daunting, endless distance, and how--

Arrow of light piercing through my soul.

Cosmo flaring brightly.

Touched....

There was a loud noise, and an abrupt feeling of cold on my ankles and feet as the big jar shattered on the ground, spilling its contents. Barely aware that my fingers had let go of it, I spun on my heels to face the one I had just felt approaching, unheeding of the shooting pain radiating through my body.

Merle appeared at the top of the slight slope leading to my house, running, and froze when he spotted me.

Merle....

What was he doing here? A distant part of me frantically thought that I wasn't up to fighting him now. I denied the almost overwhelming tide of mad fear which threatened to engulf me, and let my cosmo shine defiantly around me as I told him, "I thought I had warned you never to set foot in the Sanctuary again, Merle."

He bowed his head as my words reached him, and then resolutely raised it again, stepping towards me. I didn't move, refusing to give way to the wild emotions roving in my heart. He stopped as he reached my side, and said in a quiet voice, "I know."

His lips shaped a joyless smile, and he looked towards the Great Stairs, adding, "I accept the consequences of my actions, it doesn't matter. I had to come." He sighed almost inaudibly, and I abruptly realized everything in his stance indicated sorrow and distress. He... Turning sharply to face me, he looked straight at the blind eyes of my mask, and went on, "I can see Ophiuchus Shaina was right. I touched your cosmo just now, and what I felt isn't the result of your wounds." The pale blue eyes had lost their crystal clear quality, they were tainted, as if troubled by a violent winter storm. "What did he do to you?"

I stared back at him, numb for a few seconds, unable to tell him to mind his own business. He should have been worrying about himself, fearing for his life instead of-- I cut short to my reflections, and whispered tonelessly, "Nothing."

"You lie." Merle reached out to me, and something within me snapped. Summoning my cosmo I lashed out wildly, but he easily caught the blow and his fingers closed upon my wrists, paralyzing me.

Desperately trying to keep control over myself, I snarled, "Let go of me!" Power rose within me in reply to the call of an animal, gut terror that I wouldn't be able to restrain for much longer.

Merle's pressure on my wrists increased, sending waves of pain up my arms, until I was forced to focus on him. Softly, he said, "No, I won't release you. Look at yourself, Marin, *feel*. Your cosmo is tainted by something so dark it's choking it. What has Lune done to give rise to such a terrible storm in your soul?"

I shook my head, unable to reply. The only thing which would have come out my throat at this moment would have been a mad scream. I couldn't bear this anymore, I couldn't send the emotions away, I couldn't make them stop devouring me!

Light, gentle and warm.

Kind.

So kind....

So much like....

Within me, the little girl who was afraid of the dark smiled, reaching out to the light, to the feeling she had clung to since that so distant night.

The stars, safe and close.

The stars within, who knew my name.

A muffled sob escaped me, and I closed my eyes as Merle's arms slowly, carefully wrapped around me and gently brought me against him.

"Oh sweet Goddess, he unlocked the memories of that night...."

Merle's horrified whisper registered in my brain, and my eyes flashed open. I tensed violently in his embrace, asking him, "You know? You were there when Lune showed me the cosmo within me?"

A tremor went through Merle's body then, sad laughter that he somehow managed to keep inside him. There was a moment of utter silence, then he eventually said, "Yes, I was there with Lune on that night, when we found a little girl hiding in the Sanctuary's cemetery, but..." he gently pushed me back, and the pale blue eyes locked on me as he went on, "it wasn't Lune who helped the terrified little girl. Oh, he wanted to know what she was doing, alone in such a dark place, but when she told him she wanted to be in the dark forever since she couldn't touch the starlight, we left. I knew neither he nor I had learnt or mastered enough power to share our own lights with her, but I wanted to help, so I turned back. But when I reached the little girl, I found someone else already beside her. He was a boy quite a few years older than we were, but I knew him for having caught sight of him a few times in the Sanctuary. He was the one who freed the little girl from her wish for darkness and death, sharing with her the stars shining inside him and somehow allowing her to feel her cosmo within. His name was Aioria."

I gently freed myself from Merle's hold on my shoulders, and stepped back. I looked up at the sky and smiled crookedly behind the mask.

So....

So it had been Aioria who had saved me then.

Aioria, who had watched me over all those years.

As he had promised he would....

And as he had promised, we had met each other again, but....

I hadn't remembered.

Because I couldn't remember, I had no right to. Women's hearts were weak, they were unreliable warriors, which was why they had to wear masks on their faces, to ensure that all weakness within them would be safely sealed away. Aioria had known and understood. He'd stayed by my side, always there for me, sharing with me the humanity and warmth I had left behind, the kindness, the friendship, the--

He'd kept silent, respecting what a little girl who had traveled over half a world from faraway Japan to Greece had chosen to be. I had had no alternative to that choice, but he hadn't known that.

Oh Aioria....

Aioria....

Distantly, I felt something warm run down my cheeks. Once I could master my voice, I whispered softly, "Thank you, Merle."

He reached out to me, perhaps aware of the tears hidden behind the silver mask, and then froze, as if afraid to touch me. He smiled ruefully, saying, "I could hardly let you be swept away by the storm Lune caused, and besides I have my own part of responsibility in all this. If I hadn't--"

I held out my hand in a halting gesture, cutting him off. "The matter between us will have to be settled, one way or another, but it will have to wait until I find out who 'I' really is. I don't think I can go back to what I was before, but changes aren't necessarily bad. Perhaps I can find a way to reconcile the Silver Saint and the little girl...." I sighed wearily. "Lune just hastened the coming of the storm. Its roots were there all along, patiently weaving their way to the fore of my mind."

Merle nodded. "I thought as much. Lune wouldn't deliberately have done such a terrible thing to you, not when he had other ways of defeating you."

I found myself grinning all of a sudden. "He wouldn't waste potentially valuable resources, is what you're trying to say. I know that." He bowed his head in shame and then, belatedly realizing I had been joking, he looked up at me, a smile slowly, hesitantly creeping up his lips. I allowed him a few brief moments of respite, before asking him, "You do know that Lune has been stopped by an unknown force in the House of Gemini, don't you?"

The smile left his face in a fraction of a second, and he nodded. "Yes, so Ophiuchus Shaina told me." A fierce light shone in the blue eyes, and his hands closed into fists. "If I can reach him before he wins through, if I can talk to him...."

Taken aback, I snorted incredulously. "Do you think you could stop him?"

Merle shook his head, his eyes set on me. "No, I don't think anyone can stop him from becoming what he must be, but if I can reach him, touch the heart of the friend I've known for as long as I can remember, then..." his voice reduced to a soft whisper, "everything could be changed."

I stared at him in silence for a while, feeling his words and the burning conviction in them echoing inside me. Merle passionately believed that his statement was the truth. That Lune....

A flicker in the pure emerald eyes.

A storm where Lune wanted everyone to be convinced doubts didn't exist.

Yes, perhaps.... I nodded slowly, and Merle turned towards the high peak on top of which was set the Temple of Athena. He said, breaking the silence, "But I may not reach him. I may not go beyond the foot of the Great Stairs." He paused, as if gathering his strength, or as if he was afraid. Then he asked me, "Will you give me leave to go up the Great Stairs, Aquila Marin? Will you give me leave to rejoin Lune?"

To rejoin Lune, and also to reach the missing part of him which was waiting for him in one of the Twelve Houses.

I closed my eyes, focusing inward.

When the time comes, new Gold Saints will come.

This was what Kido Saori had said when she'd named Shaina and I guardians, and I.... Yes, I could allow Merle passage. It was right, it *felt* right. Something warm, oddly reassuring spread inside me, and I nodded at Merle.

Smiling, I led him towards the House of Aries, feeling a strange, eerie confidence deep inside my heart. I knew what I had to do. for the first time in what had felt like an eternity, I could see clearly where my path was leading me.

Lune turned away from the entrance of the Third House, feeling the approach of two people he knew. Crossing his arms over his chest, he lazily leaned against one of the high columns supporting the small temple's roof, and smiled.

Waiting.

He hadn't been able to find a way through yet, and he'd been on the verge of deciding the whole building from the outside, where he knew it had to be anchored in the real, four-dimensional world, to destroy it whole, Gold Cloth of Gemini included. If the two who were coming could bring him a solution which would avoid resorting to that extreme measure, Lune was willing to be patient during a few more minutes.

He didn't have to wait that long. As the marble's cold was slowly starting to seep into his body, he saw Aquila Marin and Merle appearing on the Stairs, side by side. The Silver Saint's walk was a slow, painful one, but Lune smiled despite himself, certain that Merle must have offered help which she had proudly and stubbornly refused.

People cannot help, but act according to their hearts, Merle.

How many times had he repeated this to his friend? They were countless, certainly, but then if Merle was one thing, it was headstrong.

Merle.... Merle who was here, incredibly enough, obviously with the Aquila Saint's consent. Lune couldn't really understand how that was possible, he couldn't quite believe what his eyes were showing him. He turned his attention towards the young woman, and saw something different in her. Something *changing*. Remembering the darkness which had been tainting her cosmo when he'd confronted her with questions about the trap laid in the House of Gemini, Lune found himself glad that Merle had managed to make himself ignore stupid and meaningless laws to come back to the Sanctuary. To come back and do whatever it was he had done to help Marin. The fact that they were together....

Well, perhaps they did share a braincell between the two of them after all. Lune smiled, half in irony, half in something he'd never have admitted to be fondness. Eventually the two came within speaking distance, and he asked them, "Well met. Have you found a solution for me, Lady Marin? Or have you two come to fight and send back the arrogant, evil upstart back to the shadows where he belongs?" Lune let scorn show be plain in his tone, watching closely the pair's reaction.

"If truth be told, it's what you'd deserve, Lune, that and a good spanking." There was something like laughter in Marin's voice. "But Merle convinced me to let him try and talk sense into your head."

To try and talk sense into him, hey? Lune laughed, unable to help himself. This was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. Had they both gone crazy?

"Listen to me, Lune, nobody is trying to prevent you from claiming that which is yours, but you've been going at it the wrong way." Merle's voice was full of the tension which showed in his stance, and there was also a plea in it, desperate.

So, Lune had been trying to reach his goal the wrong way? He raised an eyebrow, curious. He didn't think his mind could be changed, but he could give Merle a few minutes. He sighed inwardly.

Yes, he could give his friend this small gift of time.

"You've been trying to seize, to take when you should have asked." The blue eyes were locked on him, unwavering and earnest.

True.

So Merle believed what he was saying was the truth. Still.... Lune shrugged. "We're talking about power here, Merle, not about dating."

"Sometimes, power will not be taken, Lune. Sometimes it must be requested, and then granted." There was no more laughter in Aquila Marin's voice. She was deadly serious. That Merle entertained romantic and unrealistic notions was something Lune expected. But coming from her.... Unlikely. Reluctantly, Lune listened to what she might have to say.

"The obstacle you've found in your way isn't of our or anyone here's making. I've tried to understand, and I've come to the only possible conclusion: what's preventing you from reaching your goal is Athena's will. Her will, relayed by the one Cloth which is bonded to you and also by its previous wielder's power." Aquila Marin sighed softly, making a slight gesture, as if in apology. "The Goddess told me when the war against Hades was about to start that new Gold Saints would come. I didn't understand her words then, but she meant the both of you. I always knew you were beyond Silver, but as I am not Gold, I couldn't help you past a certain point, simply because I didn't *know* what to do. I failed you there." She paused for a few seconds, regaining her breath, and then went on, "When you challenged me and won, you made her words into reality: new Gold Saints had come. You were free to claim the name that you lacked for so many years, but...." The blind eyes of the silver mask stared at Lune steadily.

"You want more than that."

Something deep within Lune shivered when he heard her quiet whisper. He didn't reply to what had been more statement than question, and she nodded to herself, adding, "What you want should never be seized. It should be granted."

Lune allowed silence to reclaim the parvis of the House of Gemini, trying to make sense out of what had just been said. Strangely enough, he could almost bring himself to see a weird logic in it. Of course, that was no solution to his problem. Shaking his head, he smiled coldly. "In short, I'm supposed to request permission for passage from a Goddess who died in Hades' realm? even if that wasn't ludicrous, why should I go through with that--shall we say custom?"

"Nobody can force you to abide by this custom, but if you agree to try, you can ask me. I am the Guardian the Goddess appointed...but I warn you that if you wish to request passage, you must do so truly, with your heart unveiled." Marin's voice had a strange, undefinable quality to it, at once confident, hopeful and requesting, wishful. Lune stared at her, wondering what he should do, really wondering if what he'd heard was the truth. And even if it was, it still was no argument to convince him he should follow such a crazy ritual, the more so since it was far from sure that Marin would accede to his request.

"People cannot help but act according to their hearts."

Lune started, and turned towards Merle, who was smiling at him, the blue eyes clear, no longer clouded by doubts or fear. "You told me this yourself. How many times did you repeat it, do you remember? You'll give this way out a chance, because it doesn't cost you anything to try, and also because it's in you to do this the right way if you can."

Lune's eyes narrowed as the words found an echo within him. did Merle believe he understood Lune so perfectly? If so, then he was a possibly dangerous threat. Snorting disdainfully, the redhead replied, "Oh sure, and as a faithful friend you go to all the trouble of risking your life by coming here to tell me this essential truth, to save my soul...." Lune shook his head. "Don't make me laugh, Merle. Even you should have enough brains not to try and make me swallow such a big fish. I *betrayed* you, Merle. I led you into a trap, both because it served my purpose, and because I wanted you out of my way. I sacrificed you, and you know that full well. So don't come to me with that laughable show of friendship!"

With an effort of will, Lune sent his fury away. there was a short silence, and then Merle said softly, "I know."

The same luminous smile was still on his face. "I know what you did and why. I *understand*, or have you forgotten already? Besides, you didn't lead me into anything. I went where I chose to go, and did what I chose to do. I have a brain to think, and eyes to see. You may be the best chess player I've known, but I'm not that bad at it myself. You didn't lead me anywhere I didn't willingly follow. Get that through your head."

Lune searched his friend's face, but found no trace of resentment there. Only trust, and understanding. Chuckling despite himself, Lune shrugged helplessly as he said, "Oh well, after all why not?"

It was true he had nothing to lose by trying this. Turning towards the young woman on Merle's right, he thought he felt his heart beating faster. Berating himself for being an idiot, he stared steadily at the blind mask and asked, "Aquila Marin, will you give me leave to reach the Altar of Athena?" Silence alone replied him, and then....

Touch.

A shiver as her cosmo reached out to his.

Beyond all the shields protecting him.

Beyond the coat of unfeeling ice.

It hurt, it--

No, please, trust me.

Her thoughts stopped him as he was about to pull out. He felt her then, as vulnerable and naked as he was. She was different from the master he remembered. There was a gentleness to her which was both familiar and alien....

The little girl....

The young woman behind the silver mask, the young woman whose soft nut-brown eyes held so much kindness and sensitivity....

She was a prisoner like he was. Both of them trapped within their own selves, she by a mask and what she must be, and he by what he must be also. But perhaps there was truly a way for him to reach that goal without having to go against the very essence of this sacred place, if only....

"Yes."

Lune stared at Aquila Marin, uncomprehending, and suddenly saw behind her another young woman. A woman whose deep purple eyes were gazing directly into his soul. She wasn't really there, he knew, and yet.... She smiled gently, and this time he saw the ghostly lips shape the words: "Yes, you may go, and be what you were always meant to be, Lune."

Cosmo, impossibly bright and gentle, tender radiated from her and reached out to engulf him. It lasted only for a fraction of a second, and then she was gone.

Athena.

The Goddess who knew his name.

Shock slowly receded from Lune's face, but the wonder in his eyes remained. I hadn't seen what he had, but I had felt the cosmo engulfing the three of us. Athena.... Had she known, all along? Perhaps Kido Saori hadn't, but the Goddess sharing her body certainly had. She had played a merciless game, even cruel, but I could understand why.

She had to be certain before choosing.

In front of me, Lune stepped slowly towards Merle, and wrapped his arms around him, pulling his friend against him. He held Merle tight, and I heard a slight whisper in the air around us. "Fool. You were a fool to come for me. You're lucky the Goddess watches over innocent souls and incompetent gamblers like you." That said, the two young men separated, and Lune turned towards me.

Smiling.

Staring steadily at me, he said, "I thank you for all that you did for both of us, Lady Marin. You never failed us, you kept us from turning rogue and from going mad, and you bore with me for years, which must have demanded patience. Once I claim that which is mine, things will change in the Sanctuary. The first thing I'll do is break a stupid and cruel law." He paused for a second before adding softly, "Never again shall a woman be forced to wear a mask on her face in order to be acknowledged as a Saint. The Goddess knows that your hearts are as strong as ours, if not stronger." He pointed towards my own mask. "This will have to go, very soon."

Reflexively, I closed my right hand over my left arm, gripping it as if for support. I could hear my heart beating madly in my chest, so fast I was feeling dizzy. It was so much, so quickly....

So frightening.

"Never again shall a woman whose face has been unmasked by a man be forced to either kill him or love him."

I drew a sharp intake of breath when I heard this.

He knew.

He knew how Merle's challenge had truly ended, he'd been watching until then. Oh Goddess.... I suddenly realized that Lune's emerald eyes were set on me, knowing, seeing beyond the mask straight into my soul. I distinctly heard the gentleness in his voice when he said, "It's my hope that the female Saints who've been the prisoners of those masks for years can learn to be free, to be themselves. If there is anything I can do to help all of you to adapt, I will. But as far as you're concerned, Lady Marin," Lune grinned widely, "there's an idiot here who I'm sure will be a true friend for the little girl he didn't want to abandon in the night." He came to me then, and whispered in my ear, "Allow him a chance to heal your heart, my Lady."

I closed my eyes beneath the mask, trying to come to grips with what Lune had just told me and failing. It was too much, all at once. I couldn't imagine living my life without the mask to protect me, hide me....

Seal me away.

Chain me up.

And Merle.... I turned towards the other young man, and saw again the so rare, beautiful smile which lit his face on so few occasions. He hadn't heard Lune's last whisper, I knew it for certain. He was smiling because he was happy for me. He would be a true friend during al our lives, and never expect more, never ask for more. Yes, I knew I could trust him for that.

I knew....

Perhaps Lune was right, perhaps Merle could somehow heal the heart of the little girl, make her fear of the dark go away forever and help her learn what freedom truly meant, what being herself truly was. In time.... Perhaps.

Breathing deeply, I willed a veil of calm to come over me and nodded, saying with a half weary, half ironic smile, "It seems you intend to be a hard taskmaster, Lune." Warmly, I added, "But I believe you'll be a fine representative for the Goddess, you will lead wisely."

In a surprising gesture, too quick for me to react, Lune reached out to me and his fingertips brushed my hair in a caress while he said softly, "Thank you, my Lady."

He stepped back, and grinned at Merle. "All right, now that this is all settled, I still have quite a few flights of stairs to climb up. I can claim the Gemini Gold Cloth later, it won't mind waiting for a few hours. I have to go all the way up, and first I have to accompany you silly fool to where the only Gold Cloth who'd accept a man cursed with such a stupidly generous heart is waiting...."

Lune's emerald eyes flashed towards me as he concluded, "To the House of Leo."

I slowly turned towards Merle, wondering if I had somehow misunderstood what Lune had said. Surprise was marked all over the young man's face, the pale blue eyes had gone wide with shock. Lune chuckled fondly, adding, "Didn't you know? Didn't you feel the kinship, the bond between the two of you when Leo Aioria intervened on the behalf of two wayward apprentices who spent their time spying on girls, all those years ago?"

Eventually Merle shook his head, saying in wonder, "No." The blue eyes focused on me, uncertain all of a sudden. "No, I didn't know." He reached out towards me in an instinctive gesture, as if afraid I would somehow vanish. I looked at him, unable to give a name to what I was feeling, unmoving. When his hands brushed mine, I allowed our fingertips to touch, and in that brief moment, I understood what the shadow clouding his eyes was.

Fear.

Fear that I would hate him for being what he was, for being Leo, as Aioria had been. As I broke the contact, I told him in a whisper, "It's all right, Merle." And surprisingly enough it was. This *was* fitting, I knew it in the bottom of my heart, having felt so many times how alike they were.

Tired of waiting, Lune suddenly dragged Merle after him, entering the House of Gemini. I observed the two of them together for a while before following them, and eventually smiled under the silver mask as a thought imposed itself to the fore of my mind. A bittersweet smile.

Fate had a strange way of playing with people's lives, and the gods definitely had an interesting sense of humor.

End.

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