[ Watashi ]

[ Tomodachi ]

[ Saint Seiya ]

[ Clamp ]

[ Fanfiction ]

It was dark outside, the sun had set for a long time already. The young woman rested the palm of her right hand against the wooden frame of the window, watching the city beyond the glass in silence. The scene before her eyes was an endless ballet of cars dashing along the avenues, traffic lights dancing from red to green via orange, flashing... It was all like waves after waves of light reaching out to a shore of darkness, but unlike the ocean's tides, these couldn't touch their goal, they didn't have the ocean's strength, this timeless force that could gnaw away rocks, cliffs... No, all this display was definitely pathetic, or laughable, like most of humanity's attempts at mastering what was beyond it since the dawn of time.

To command the night...

Kanoe laughed softly in the office. She had found refuge here after the Dream of her sister, everyday at sunset she had come, and watched Tokyo during the night, until dawn rose. Nobody had questioned her presence, it was after all her office, and the governor knew better than to meddle into what his subordinates were doing as long as the tasks he requested were accomplished on time. There had been lights, coming from other offices where a few zealous civil servants worked extra hour after extra hour like the good and efficient little ants they were. At first, those other lights had disturbed her, but they never lasted long into the night. Tonight's last one had just blinked out, like a life suddenly reaped by death.

Kanoe's gaze focused once more on the city outside, and she resumed watching, with a strange feeling filling her heart. Mixture of fear, contempt and morbid fascination.

Like the feeling one had when one stood at the very edge of an abyss, and was oh so very much tempted to step forward, wondering what it felt like when one fell...

What an instant of eternity was...

She had come here every night, and still she didn't know. She watched, and waited, but no answer had come to her. Distantly, she thought that someone should have told this world it was going to die, should have warned poor little humanity it would never see this end of the millenium that frightened it so much... If anything, it'd have provided her with a bit of interesting distraction.

Perhaps she should have explained herself to Satsuki and Yuuto, it'd have prevented them from futilely trying to see her and get her to come below the building, where they had all started this thing. No later than yesterday, the girl had once more used every possible trick to get through to her, even resorting to having the computer on her office flashing and beeping for long minutes... Well, at least that wouldn't happen again. Kanoe looked at the smashed machine, and grinned, before quickly looking back at the city. She sighed slightly, wondering where it had all gone wrong and knowing the only possible answer was...

At the very beginning.

To get back down and see to the Dragons of Earth didn't hold the slightest meaning or importance anymore now.

None.

She had started this, and had thrown the dice, trusting her luck, and the odds, sure of success. Of control. She had watched with thrill as the dice rolled, on and on as if time had stopped, but as they had been about to stop and herald her triumph...

A Dark hand had reached out.

No, not dark.

Nothing could compare to the *thing* that had suddenly entered their game.

No qualificative.

It was far beyond what the human mind could conceive, no matter how cynical, dirty or twisted. It was... Kanoe looked in front of her and saw her reflection in the window. The dice had stopped rolling, heralding the triumph of her side, oh yes. That, and the utter destruction of everything. In the window, Kanoe suddenly saw behind her reflection something blacker than the night all around her, and stepped back, her right hand clutching at her throat as if suddenly air could reach her lungs only through painful ragged breaths.

Silent laughter was resounding through the office.

"So this is the face of destruction..."

The girl stepped down from some cylindrical apparatus at the center of the huge room down below the Government Building, her lips curving up in a smile that didn't even brush her eyes.

"I must say, that Death comes to us in a most pleasant guise."

I looked at the eyes behind the glasses she was wearing, and saw nothing in them. No feeling. No emotion, no fear. Only indifference, or emptiness, I couldn't have said which. I didn't reply, judging it a waste of time, focusing rather on dismissing the feeling of unease that had plagued me since I had entered a lift with Kigai Yuuto and felt it go down instead of up. This place below the ground, where the light of day never reached... I felt a shiver running up my spine as it brought back more than unpleasant memories. There had been a time when I...

"I watched your progress through surveillance cameras systems. Nobody followed you. Am I right when I think Kuroki-san came with you of his own will Yuuto ?"

The blonde man nodded, smiling charmingly at her.

"Indeed. Our friend is a most polite person, Satsuki-chan, even if he's not exactly talkative. He didn't say a word on the way here."

I shrugged at that, and replied without facing the young man :

"I didn't see any need for conversation Kigai-san. What I must do doesn't require idle chatting."

The girl walked up to me, her eyes suddenly focused on me. Searching. She stopped less than step away from me, and whispered :

"What you must do ?..."

The intensity of her brown eyes' gaze was disturbing. There was something in them, something I couldn't give a name to, but...

Inhumanity.

Yes, that had to be it. She was looking me right in the eyes, without the slightest trace of reluctance, without flinching, when I knew that even with shields most people would have shied away from such a confrontation. How could she bear it ? It was as if those brown eyes were pools that had no depth, into which everything would sink and drown, never finding an end or a way out, absorbed...

"Tell me, Kuroki-san, why have you come to us ? Why were you seeking us ?"

I allowed my lips to shape the ghost of a smile and replied :

"Because it's time, because I can't stall anymore..."

There, the slightest flicker of those eyes... Uncertainty perhaps ? I added softly :

"You have three things I need, and I've come to take them."

There was a sharp intake of breath beside me, but the girl named Satsuki had a quick, peremptory gesture in the direction of Kigai Yuuto to signal for him to wait. I felt relief filling my heart as the possibility to avoid combat suddenly passed above the threshold of the zero probability. Her eyes still locked on mine, the girl asked :

"And why should we allow you to ?"

I chuckled derisively.

"I thought you knew and understood the way things stand, Satsuki-san..."

I shook my head, chasing bitter mirth away, denying the dark laughter rising within, wanting out *now*, now that the time was almost... I closed my eyes tightly shut and gritted my teeth, sending the Dark back where it belonged. Locking it behind doors I'd have to open all too soon... At last, I judged my control steady enough and went on, staring at her steadily.

"I'm on your side. As you said yourself : I am death and destruction. You have no reason to hinder me, on the contrary, I'd have thought you'd welcome the opportunity I'm offering you, to see your side triumph while not even having to dirty your hands with human blood..."

A light flashed in her eyes, and I added :

"Victory, without having to burden yourself with a cumbersome task, without having to walk among men and feel their terror and refusal fill every part of you. Victory, without even having to step out of your realm... Why wouldn't you allow me to take what I want ?"

The brown eyes looked fixedly at mine for a long time, and eventually she smiled.

"Do you intend to listen to him and trust him Satsuki-chan ?"

The girl laughed suddenly, and stepped over to Kigai Yuuto, laying a hand on his right arm and replying :

"Trust ?..."

She turned away from him and walked back to the cylindrical shaped in the center of the room, whispering as she reached it :

"No, but Beast saw as I saw..."

She turned towards me.

"I see no reason not to let you do whatever you want. Kill humanity since you so adamantly feel the task to be yours, since you'd go so far as to walk into the lion's jaws to claim your right of ownership. You're right, I'll be more than happy not to have to dirty my hands, I have far more interesting things to do than spill human blood."

I nodded, acknowledging her words and the ripples of emotions they had triggered within me, and asked :

"You have my gratitude. Where can I find the DreamGazer named Kakyou ?"

For the briefest of moments, the girl named Satsuki tensed, and then she nodded almost imperceptibly. Beside me, Kigai Yuuto said :

"He's resting in a room we gave him. It's close enough, I'll take you to him."

I followed him out of the strange room, relieved to be free of this realm of metal and wires. Just as we walked through the door, I saw in the steel's reflection the young girl envelopped in a shroud of wires, a blissful smile on her lips, her eyes lost in emotions and sights only she could feel and see.

I hardly heard the decreasing sounds of Kigai Yuuto's steps as he walked back the way we had come, deafened by the loud echoes of my heartbeats.

Why ?

Why this overwhelming tide of emotions rising within, engulfing all ? Angrily, I denied the ludicrous feelings and entered the room, telling myself I was the worst fool that had ever walked this world.

There was nothing here, no furnitures beside the bed and an almost translucent veil separating the sleeper from the outside. I watched the shadow resting on the bed beyond it for a while, reluctant to move, afraid to go to him, as if this was the last possible place where I could stop it. End it. Never do it. As if... I silently walked towards the bed, and reached out to the veil shielding him. As my fingers touched the fragile fabric of the tissue, for the blink of an eye I... felt a breeze on my face, gentle and warm, heard the faraway cries of gulls as well as the relentless and peaceful sound of waves endlessly running aground on a shore, smelled the perfume of the ocean all around...

The thin veil fell back behind me, and the illusion died as quickly as it had come. I bent a knee down beside the bed, my heart still engulfed in a wondrous feeling of peace the so brief vision had engulfed me into. His eyes were closed, he seemed to be sleeping, or at least resting. Watching him like this, I couldn't help noticing how frail he looked, at the same time so like and unlike the person I had met in the dream, so... I reached out to him, and gingerly rested a hand on his right shoulder.

"So, you have come..."

The beautiful cat-like eyes opened, and he smiled to me. I nodded silently, unable to speak, and bowed my head, choked by an emotion too strong and painful to be denied.

"You have crossed the line..."

I shivered as fingertips brushed my left cheek, and looked at him. The same smile was still lighting his face.

Regrets, emptiness, happiness and sorrow, patience, aloofness and longing mixing together despite their contradictions into something I couldn't give a name to, something that resonated within me too, amplifying with each second... I somehow managed to break the spell and shook my head, saying :

"I didn't know... When I saw you in the dream, I didn't perceive you were so..."

A glint of bitter amusement flashed in his eyes.

"Fragile ? Weak ?"

I looked away, vaguely ashamed of diminishing him like this, but... I whispered tonelessly :

"I can't ask you to help me, you..."

Fingers touched the lines of my jaw, ever so gently forcing me to face him. He had sat up on the bed, and the golden eyes were staring at me steadily as he said :

"You don't have to ask Gai-san, I *will* help you in this. There are things you and I share, one of them being a small, insignificant revenge I intend to take part in..."

His fingers suddenly released me, and he added softly, as if to himself :

"You are the same as the one I saw and felt in the dream. I didn't think this possible, but you are the same..."

He sighed wearily.

"Anyway, there's little time. The one you've come for is asleep, dreaming. We should act now..."

I nodded woodenly, desperately trying not to hear his previous words echoing in my heart, trying to forget the tone of his voice as he had said them, and asked him :

"Can you keep him trapped in the dream ?"

He smiled self-deprecatingly.

"I have rested for a long time, but I cannot tell you how long I'll be able to keep him inside this dream, for now it's easy, but once he starts feeling what you've come here to do, he'll fight me, and he is strong. Very strong."

Of course, I hadn't expected anything else. No help for this, so better to do it as quickly as possible. I'd never allow Kakyou to be hurt for my sake. Never. I stood up, and very gently took him in my arms, bearing him up as if he had still been a child. He was surprisingly light, and I had regained strength during my stay at the Dragons of Heaven's house. I would have no problem doing this. He looked at me with curiosity for a few seconds, and then chuckled softly.

"Thank you..."

Amusement left his eyes as he added :

"The sword isn't far, let's go now."

"Strange, I didn't expect this..."

I gingerly set Kakyou down on the floor, resting his back against the wall, and asked him :

"Expect what, Kakyou-san ?"

He shrugged slightly.

"The lack of obstacle. We're being watched, but Yatouji Satsuki won't do anything, indeed only a fraction of her power is focused on us..."

I smiled humorlessly.

"She knows I intend to do the Dragons of Earth's grisly job for them, why should she move to prevent that ?"

He looked at me, a question shining in his eyes, and eventually nodded.

"It means that she believed what you told her. How odd..."

He smiled distantly.

"I'd never have thought that machines could dream... Or maybe it's the human part of her which stubbornly keeps refusing to die and be silent for good..."

His eyes focused on me again.

"No matter. Go quickly Gai-san, and remember, the moment you touch the blade, he'll feel it..."

I turned away from him, chasing him and everything else from my mind as I walked towards the center of the room, towards the giant sword driven into the metal floor as if it had been Excalibur stuck into the stone. It was beautiful, there was no denying that, although why the gods had bothered to make it so was a question that should have triggered doubts into its wielder. The answer was simple : the gods had a very peculiar sense of humor.

Death comes to us in a most pleasant guise.

These had been the girl Satsuki's words. I grinned at the sword. She had been right, but I doubted she and the others had understood how true this was before now. I stopped right before the magnificient weapon and looked at it.

Listening.

It was a fascinating spectacle. Yatouji Stasuki smiled as she watched the room in which they had left the Shinken. She saw Kuroki Gai walk towards it, she saw Kakyou look away from the other, his gaze focused inward, and of course in the same time she saw "Kamui" in his room, asleep. So...

Now she understood fully the intentions of Kuroki Gai, she knew what he had come to take, knew why he needed the DreamGazer, and found his scheme to have a certain elegance to it. She could of course have intervened, but as the alien young man had said, there was no real reason for her to prevent this. She could sit back and relax, enjoy the show. Yet... She focused the tiniest part of her on Yuuto, and told him :

"I think it'd be a good thing if you kept the bioroid occupied for a while, otherwhile it might disrupt events, and that'd mar the painting."

He grinned back at her.

"And just how should I keep him occupied, Satsuki-chan ?"

She snorted.

"I don't care, chat with him about metaphysic subjects, bring him here to watch, lock yourself with him in his room, whatever."

Yuuto smiled inwardly when he heard Satsuki's tone of voice, and decided that flirting with Nataku was likely to prove extremely amusing.

In the dim lights of the room, the sword they had named Shinken was shining, as if radiating its own light. I watched it, taking in every detail, every exquisite carving on its hilt, and heard the soft music it sang, felt its harmonics echoing within me, endlessly, as they did for the other this blade had originally been forged for. It was time it remembered. Time it remembered it hadn't always worn this shape, time it remembered...

Me.

Slowly, I reached out to the perfect blade.

In another room, not far, Monou Fuuma suddenly moved in his sleep, a line barring his brow, the expression on his face one that he only wore in one kind of circumstances.

A battle.

As his struggle increased in violence, the Dream that had engulfed him closed its arms tighter around him, unheeding of blows or harm.

I leaned my right thumb against the blade's edge, feeling its cold, and gently pressed, watching as it opened a cut in the skin and as a few drops of blood slowly ran down the blade.

Time.

I opened my right hand, and closed it around the blade, discarding its hilt, forcing myself to feel as the steel cut through the flesh and as warm blood marred the metal's perfection. I closed my eyes, and closed my hand tighter, focusing on the sword's song, taking it within, talking to it with heart and soul, soothing it, quelling its thirst...

Allowing memories to come back.

Allowing the Dark to make itself known.

Allowing its hand to reach out.

Allowing the black laughter to drown the music.

Allowing...

Gai-san !

Golden cat-like eyes suddenly appeared in the night and I shuddered, realizing what I had almost let happen, understanding the darkness within me had tricked me and had almost won. Overwhelmed by the enormity of it, I slowly pulled at the giant sword, my mind empty, devoid of thoughts, and it yielded, it obeyed and came out of the floor. I stepped back, and fell on my knees on the floor, the weapon in my lap.

Oh gods...

I shook my head, feeling despair and fear clawing at me. It was too hard, the feeling of the sword, of its power, of its music resonating where the dark could hear it and feed on it, gather strength...

I breathed painfully, trying to control the black tide in my soul, rebuilding shields that I knew wouldn't last, and eventually stood up again and walked back towards Kakyou. His eyes were fevered, and his body tense, as if he was fighting a terrible war, as if he was being hurt... Before I could drop the sword and kneel beside him, he slowly, painfully stood up and whispered :

"I'll be all right, but we have to hurry now."

I looked at him numbly for a while, feeling the almost overwhelming urge to shout at him I didn't want him to feel this pain, to shout at him I refused to let him do this any longer, to cry that I didn't want to go on, that I didn't want to be the insturment of Fate, that I wanted to run away, very far, that I... But of course, the moment passed, and I nodded, gently supporting him with my left arm. He passed his right arm around my neck, and we walked out of the room. The giant sword in my right hand was a heavy weight pulling me down, but I closed myself to weariness and walked on, focusing on bitter amusement as an odd, stray thought imposed itself in my mind.

The worst of weak points was to forbid oneself the slightest weakness.

"Here ?"

Kakyou nodded, and I opened the door, not bothering to be silent about it. The DreamGazer's state had quickly grown worse, even though it had taken us less than a minute to reach this place, and I had no more time to waste on luxuries like discretion. I walked to the bed on which a tall young man was trashing in his sleep vainly fighting against the Dream that held him, and let Kakyou down, as gently as I could. I sat down on the bed's side, and looked at the young man who was called Monou Fuuma and was Kamui's dearest friend, Kamui's last tie in this world, fighting the impulse which wanted me to drive the sword through his heart here and there.

No.

No...

Not now.

Not yet.

I bit my lower lip, willing my inner darkness to be silent, and told Kakyou between clenched teeth :

"Now, quickly."

I didn't hear his reply, but suddenly the room around me vanished.

Black.

Night.

Tiny speckles of light, impossibly distant.

Out of reach.

Stars...

Insignificant.

Unable to do harm.

Unable to shed light.

Unable to...

Who are you ?

I turned around, and saw Monou Fuuma right in front of me.

Anger, fury written upon his face.

Power radiating from him.

So dark.

So like...

Those eyes had certainly held laughter and love once, but now they were nothing but the empty eyes of a mindless puppet. I chased mercy and compassion away, and replied to his dream-self :

I'm destruction, and you're nothing.

Power erupted from him and rushed at me, but I didn't even bother to brush it aside. He couldn't harm me. The blast struck directly, the black energy welcome food for what was waiting inside. I smiled ferally, adding :

You're nothing but a pale reflection, a mere stolen good I've come to reclaim.

Before he could move, I held out an arm to him, and plunged my right hand into his chest, reaching for the heart.

There.

I opened the door within, and allowed the dark to come forth.

Shock and pain were clearly visible on the young man's face. Fear that didn't belong to the shadow that had possessed him, memories of what had transpired, helpless horror as knowledge of what had happened struck. I smiled softly at him, and my fingers squeezed. When his silent cry reached me, I laughed in the dream's night.

Around us, no ugly starlight was disturbing the darkness anymore, no stupid reminder of the mistaken concept that was hope. Nothing.

Good.

Very good.

From within me, the dark hand reach out, and engulfed the shadow of Kamui, the shadow that belonged to it. When it was done, my ethereal fingers released the torn heart of Monou Fuuma, and I stepped back while he was slowly falling down on the dreamscape's ghostly ground.

Alive.

Oh yes, I had felt his heart beating, I could still feel it now, just as I knew he understood and remembered everything his hands had done, whether of his own will or not. I looked down at him and heard black laughter resounding within me, felt the dark's contempt filling my being. It didn't want to kill Monou Fuuma, his pain was far too amusing, and I... I had closed my heart to pity. I needed him alive, even though it'd have been a mercy to end his life now.

I had a promise to keep.

Around us, the dream's fabric had started unraveling.

"Oh my god..."

My fingers were squeezing something soft, desperately. Bedsheets... I slowly realized the dream was gone, and the shadow once more part of the black whole.

"Kotori... I... Kamui..."

I looked up, refusing to hear the anguish and horror in the voice, and saw Monou Fuuma sitting on the bed beside me, his eyes vacant, looking at me, but not seeing me, full of images of blood... He bowed his head slowly, repeating :

"Kotori... Kamui..."

We had no time for this. No time for guilt or regrets. No time for sorrow. I could feel the dark inside me hurling its strength at my shields, it had no need for me anymore, no need for patience, it was whole. It wanted its revenge, it wanted to obliterate anything alive, it wanted...

It *wanted*...

On impulse, I grabbed Monou Fuuma's shirt and hissed at him :

"Enough ! Stop whining, we've come here to get you back to Kamui, and by the gods you're coming with us. I'm not about to let you go mad with grief, you're not responsible for what the shadow did, hear me ? And even if you feel you are, then don't you dare indulge in self-pity ! Do the one thing you can do and come with us, heal Kamui's heart before the time comes !"

I shook him harshly as I saw his eyes were still unfocused.

"Damn you coward ! I'm not letting you run away from this, you're coming, even if I have to drag you the whole way, hear me !?"

I kept on shaking him, until an almost inaudible whisper reached my ears :

"Yes... I hear you..."

Tears were slowly running down Monou Fuuma's cheeks.

"I'll come..."

I looked away, unable to bear the sight of the horrible grief tearing him apart, and said in a toneless voice :

"Then go help Kakyou-san, I'll be joining you in a minute."

He stood up and walked away, leaving me alone at last.

Alone...

I closed my eyes tightly shut, refusing to cry, refusing to let the howl of despair and sorrow pass through my lips. I couldn't. I couldn't yield.

Not now.

Not yet.

I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't... I kept repeating this sentence, like a prayer, as if it somehow could give me enough strength to hold on.

Only a little more.

Just a little more...

Please...

I bowed my head, feeling pain overwhelming me.

Oh please, help me...

Suddenly, I heard very light steps coming towards me, and whispered furiously :

"Am I not to be given even a few minutes of peace ?"

There was a slight sound as the person who had come knelt beside me, and then the answer came, as gentle and soft as it was merciless.

"No."

Arms came around me, and held me close. Blinded by tears which had suddenly come to my eyes, I leant my head back against Kakyou's left shoulder, accepting the embrace, knowing it was the only thing I could be given, grateful beyond my ability to express that he had chosen to offer me this gift. It was no dream this time, it was reality, and he had come to me, he had... I trembled against him, allowing the grief to come over me for the briefest of moments, and he held me tight, silent. I focused on the feeling of him, on the muted sound of his heartbeats, on the feeling of his lips brushing my hair, and fought back the tidal wave of emotions raging within. Harshly chased it away and denied it. It had no place in the order of things, it didn't matter, it was nothing but a lie, a way a part of me was trying to come up with to seek forgiveness from itself.

It was nothing.

Nothing.

"We must leave, Gai-san."

I breathed deeply, gathering the last of my strength, and nodded. He released me, and I stood up, helping him in the same time. At the threshold of the room, Monou Fuuma was watching us in silence. His eyes looked at the sword I was holding in my right hand, and then looked back at me.

Mirrors of the emotions devouring the both of us.

End of Part 7.

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