[ Watashi ] [ Tomodachi ] [ Saint Seiya ] [ Clamp ] [ Fanfiction ]


Toys in the Palm of God - Part 5

A Rg Veda x X fanfiction by Ariane Kovacevic, AKA Fuu-chan.





Ashura grimaced as she reluctantly swallowed her coffee, and I smiled, unable to help myself. She said, sulking :

"It's not funny Fiona !"

I chuckled, and Kujaku shook his head, saying brightly :

"But Ashura dear, you were the one who insisted to have that coffee extra strong... Weren't you ? Isn't this what you wanted ?"

Yasha sighed, embarrassed. I looked out the window of the skycraper, ignoring the curious and sometimes fearful looks of the other customers. It was hard not to feel you were a foreigner here. Not that the people were unkind or anything, but... We were simply not part of their world. Well, I had to admit that Yasha's carrying of his saber, even if covered by various layers of paper and plastic that made it look like some weird pipe, didn't help us to fit in the crowd.

I ate the last bite of my apple pie, and realised I was the last to finish, as usual. I blushed.

"Sorry to make you wait..."

I pushed back my plate on the table and began to get up.

"Okay, let's go now..."

Suddenly, the sky went black.

Dragon. Destroying. Tearing.

People screamed around us. But... Kujaku gritted his teeth.

"There is a terrace above the skyscraper. Let's get up there. Maybe we'll be able to see something."

We nodded, and ran out of the tea-room.

I leaned against the roof wall, trying to catch my breath. Of course there had been no lift available. Fortunately the tea-room was in the last floors of the building, or it would have taken us an eternity to get here.

"What is this ?"

I looked at Yasha. He was holding Ashura protectively close. Lightning illuminated the panorama, and I raised a hand to my lips, silencing a cry.

Proud skyscraper falling.

Domino falling. Falling. Down.

Dragon ravaging.

The thunder roared. Oh gods... People were going to die. Many, many people. Trapped. Crushed. This time, it was no Vision, but... Reality. Ashura freed herself from Yasha and went to the edge of the roof, fixing the desolation.

"That tears it. This time, we must do something."

Kujaku nodded, and we turned away from the roof. Lightning blinded us once again, and suddenly there was silence. Absolute.

"What ?..."

We were trapped. We couldn't go back inside the building. We were encircled by a strange barrier. As if outside of time and reality itself. Kujaku frowned.

"Who is doing this ? Show yourself !"

A shape materialised near Yasha.

"I am sorry. But you must not go. I cannot let you."

Shoulder length red hair, almost coppery. That face... Those icy blue eyes... I dimly heard Kujaku's sharp intake of breath, and shook my head, asking :

"Steve...?... Steve ? It's... you ?"

He was smiling a bit sadly. I shivered. This was and yet wasn't the person I knew. The groom who always helped me clean up after my mistakes, or did a portion of my job when I was in a hurry. This was... Abruptly, I saw Yasha unsheating his saber and before I could react, the man I knew as Steve whirled around. The only thing that my eyes saw was an arc of radiant light, and suddenly he was holding a sword at Yasha's throat, smiling slightly.

"I'd advise you not to do that, mister."

A scream erupted in the air.

"Yashaaa !"

Ashura.

I shuddered.

The light in her eyes... A great ball of fire was floating above her right palm. She said in a deadly voice :

"Free him. Free him. Now."

He turned towards her, and awe inscribed itself on his face. He shook his head, saying :

"You... It cannot be... I..."

Confusion. Joy. Fear. Respect. Suddenly, a wall went up, masking the emotions and he sighed.

"I am not your enemy, I..."

Dragon. Alone. Powerful. Evil.

I turned to face the falling buidling. The bright shape of a Dragon was rushing towards it, and it hit it with a devastating force.

Pain.

I fell down, moaning.

The Jewels...

A Seal. Destroyed. Torn by the Dragon's claws. Burnt by the Dragon's Fire. I shuddered.

The Dragon. Looking this way.

Cherry blossoms petals.

I closed my eyes, whispering a terrified denial. He...

"Fiona !..."

My fingers raked the cold surface of the roof. Concrete. Solid. Real.

"Stay where you are, Steve or whoever it is you are. There's no way I'll let you come closer."

Kujaku's voice was deceptively quiet and calm.

"Damn it ! I'm not your enemy ! I can help her !"

Kujaku chuckled ironically.

"Is that so ? You'll excuse me if I choose not to trust you..."

Gently, he helped me up, holding me close. I whispered weakely :

"I'm okay, don't worry. That Dragon... I felt... It was Sakurazukamori. He destroyed... A Seal..."

I looked at him desperately.

"One of the Seals is gone !"

He nodded, then looked at the man I knew as Steve.

"Yes. Thanks to our friend here we couldn't even try to prevent it..."

I looked at Steve. I looked at the person who had been my friend, and asked, fighting the impulse to go to him :

"Why Steve ? Why did you do that ?"

Determination and sadness were warring in his eyes. He said :

"There was no way you could have prevented it. None. Trying to go against Fate is pure folly..."

Ashura shook her head, her ball of flame still present above her hand.

"And what gives you the right to say so ? What gives you the right to prevent us from trying ? Who are you ?"

He looked at her for a long time without answering. Eventually, he bowed his head and said :

"I am a servant of the Goddess. And I serve you too..."

There was wonder in his voice. His blue eyes searched Ashura's face.

"You... Or an Avatar of you..."

Suddenly, he put a knee on the ground, as if paying homage.

"Please, believe me... I would give my life for you. I would give my soul..."

Sincerity was radiating from him. He knew Ashura... The fingers of my right hand closed on Kujaku's sleeve. I could feel sincerity, and also...

"But this... This was already written. Changing it would have been inviting Chaos. A Prophecy is always true. Always."

Sadness. Regrets. I shook my head.

"There is something else, isn't there ?"

He looked at me and chuckled softly.

"I should have known you would feel it. Yes. There is another thing already written in the Book of Time. A thing you will not prevent. I am sorry, really. Fiona, believe me, I am still your friend."

Slowly, I walked to him. I searched his face. At once so like and so unlike the man I had worked with during years. Deep inside, behind the wall of determination, there was the desperate wish to be understood and accepted. Forgiven. There was a fierce love for this world and every living thing. I nodded.

"Then, since we are friends, free us please."

He hesitated during a few seconds, and then closed his eyes and intoned a soft chant. Suddenly, the barrier fell and riot replaced the deep silence. All around us was the sound of sirens and the cries of people. The air stanked of ozon, dust and blood. I smiled.

"Thank you Steve."

A smile lit his face in answer to my own, and he reached out to me. Our fingers touched.

White feathers. Angel. Innocent and pure.

"Fate must be Chosen..."

Cut. Pierced. Bleeding. Dying.

Dead.

"But the Future is already set..."

Gentle hazel eyes. Empty.

Kotori.

I backed away, shaking my head desperately.

"No... No it cannot be..."

I looked at him through my tears.

"You cannot mean... It will not happen. It will not. I will not let it. I will not !"

Kujaku's arms embraced me.

"No we will not."

He knew. I had shared it with him. Sobs shook me. Thank the heavens for that. Calmly, he said to Steve :

"If you want to stop us this time, you will have to kill me."

Steve sighed wearily.

"I cannot do that. Go if you wish. But it is already too late."

Ashura had a feral smile.

"It is never too late. Not until the last second of the game has ended. Where to Fiona ?"

I closed my eyes and saw again Kotori's vacant eyes. Saw her blood reddening the ground. The angel... I gritted my teeth.

"Togakushi Shrine."




I stopped abruptly, leaning against one of the station's walls, breathless. Angrily, I tried to control the frantic beatings of my heart. Hell, I was slowing us down. Shit. Kujaku looked at me worriedly.

"Are you okay love ?"

I shrugged, pushing away from the wall and runnning again.

"No. But it doesn't matter."

He nodded, understanding and I focused on the rythm of my breathing, fighting the exhaustion.

We had found Togakushi Shrine empty. Deserted. The wood floor slick with blood. Human remains scattered. Human head. A woman. I had run out of the place, sick. Sick with the feelings of pain, of sadness, despair and horror, terror, denial and sorrow haunting the house. People had told us that three young men had come to the shrine, then departed with Fuuma, Kotori and another young man they didn't know. Fortunately, their car had had a distinctive mark on it. Clamp Campus.

"Now where ?"

This place was huge. Star shaped. Damn it, it might take us hours to find them. Kujaku closed his eyes, raising his face towards the sky, and whispered :

"Water... Lots of water..."

Ashura smiled suddenly.

"A swimming pool... Look !"

At the campus' entrance was a map displaying each of its elements. And there was a swimming pool. Kujaku opened his eyes, nodding.

"Let's hope so. We don't have any other clue anyway."

A long cry resounded in the air.

"Fuumaaaaa !"

The swimming pool's great bay windows had shattered. Kamui was looking at Fuuma, absolute fear written on his face.

Fuuma.

Eyes cold. Icy. Unhuman. Evil.

Kotori. She...

Suddenly, pieces of glass flew in the air, pinning Kamui to a wall. Piercing through his legs and arms.

Blood. Pain. Fear.

A strange cross was raised behind Fuuma. Kotori... Horrified, I saw thin filaments pulling her up to it.

Crucifying her.

Kotori.

The angel.

Sacrificed.

No...I threw myself forward, and hit an invisible wall. I whispered :

"What ?..."

Kujaku leaned a hand on it.

"A shield. And it is not Steve this time..."

Kujaku's eyes narrowed as he looked at Fuuma.

"He doesn't want to be disturbed."

I banged my fists against the wall, in vain.

"No, it can't be ! It can't be !"

On the other side, Fuuma went to the bleeding shape of Kamui, and pierced the young man's right hand with his sword. I flinched as I heard Kamui's cry of pain, and as I felt his fear and his despair. Oh gods... Fuuma touched the young man gently, kissed him almost lovingly... Hungrily...

Two Dragons. Two men. Touching as of lovers. Each the other self of the other. Order and Chaos. Stability and Change.

Fuuma turned back from Kamui, and went to his sister.

No... Dread gripped my heart. No, this had no meaning. This couldn't be happening. Fuuma and Kotori, they were not... Not part of this. They were innocent, they...

Fuuma raised his sword.

I turned towards Yasha and Ashura, frantic.

"Can't you break this wall ? Can't we do anything ?"

Ashura said in a tight voice :

"Not without revealing ourselves. And that would be..."

The sword went down.

A happy giggle. "It's Fuuma-Oniichan..." Soft hazel eyes. Innocent, laughing.

A gentle smile. Love. Love so deep. And sadness. Fuuma... Kotori...

Blood.

Pain.

Death.

Darkness. Cold.

"FUUMAAAAA !"

Kamui's cry resounded in my soul, endlessly. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound could pass through my lips. Nothing could ever have expressed what I was feeling.

Angel. Dead.

Purity. Dead.

Innocence. Dead.

Hope. Dead.

Fate. Sealed.

Helplessly, I looked at Fuuma. I looked at the gentle, considerate young man who loved his sister so very much, who would have done anything to raise a smile on her lips, to make her happy... It wasn't fair. I shook my head. This wasn't true. It wasn't true. It was a nightmare. I chuckled. Of course. A nightmare. I laughed. I was going to wake up. Soon. And I would joke about my silliness. Kujaku would say I was a fool. He would tease me, and kiss me, and the nightmare would vanish. I laughed again.

"Fiona !"

Vaguely, I realised there was something wrong in Kujaku's voice.

Fear. Sadness. Worry. Love.

"Fiona !"

He was crushing me against him, burying my head on his chest. I looked at him, unable to feel the tears soaking my face, chuckling.

"Hey... What's up ? Why are you worried ?"

His purple eyes were brimming with tears.

"Oh love, I..."

I smiled gently, wiping his tears.

"Why are you crying ?"

He made me turn around slowly.

No.

Fire consumed my soul.

Ice froze my heart.

Emptiness. Nothingness. Void. I walked towards the barrier, and at the same time Yasha's saber fell on it. A bright light blinded me during a few seconds, and suddenly I was free to go on. The shield had disappeared.

Fuuma was gone.

I walked to the metal cross and looked at the body bound on it. Looked at the gaping wound in her chest. I reached out and my fingers touched the cold steel. I looked with curiosity as blood covered them. The bood was still warm. Its colour was so bright. So pure... I looked up and saw that Kotori's eyes were closed. Darkness had claimed Light. I raised my index finger to my lips and thoughtfully licked the blood on it.

Salty. Strangely sweet. I looked at my finger a long time, and then struck savagely a sharp piece of glass with my right hand. I smiled. It didn't hurt so much. I raised it to my mouth and sucked on the deep cuts, swallowing the blood. The taste was almost the same. I leaned both hands against the cross and bowed my head, closing my eyes. I must not think. Must not feel. Must not remember. I... Arms embraced me gently, and I felt a body against mine. Lips brushed my shoulders and my neck, with a desperate tenderness.

Love.

Pure and bright.

Love.

Eternal.

I trembled, and he held me close. I hugged him with all the strength I had, holding on to him for sanity. My anchor. The last obstacle between me and oblivion. Seconds, minutes or centuries went by, and eventually I freed myself from his embrace. I kissed him, whispering :

"I love you."

I turned around. Ashura and Yasha had freed Kamui from the wall and laid him down. I looked at him and saw a small flame flickering, about to go out. Hell, I hurt, but him... Damn it, nothing could compare to what he had had to live through. Nothing. And my pain was pitiful compared to his. I went to him and kneeled beside him. Gently, I stroked his silken hair, trying to ignore the blood covering him. Ashura said :

"The wounds are severe, but his life is not in danger from them."

I nodded silently, looking into the vacant eyes of the young man. I sighed, smiling sadly. With a deep breath, I let myself be engulfed in his feelings.

Disbelief.

Horror.

Pain.

Helplessness.

Sorrow.

Despair. Overwhelming.

Fuuma... Kotori... I love you both. I love you so much... I want to protect you... I want you to be happy. I...

Fuuma... No... Don't... Don't... I love you... Don't...

Kotori ! Kotori ! Don't leave me... Who will I marry now ? Kotori...

Blood... Ocean of blood and tears... Better to drown in it...

Yes.

Why go on living ?

Why fight for this world ?

Why should the earth live ?

Death is the end of pain. And it is far better than... This.

Fuuma... Kotori... Forgive...

I cried, shaking feverishly :

"No ! No Kamui !"

I embraced him, stroking his hair. He wasn't even aware of my presence, but I couldn't let him. I couldn't abandon him. Kamui... I had thought him a cold predator, a killer, merciless... I hugged him tight. He was the opposite. He cared. He loved. So deeply. And he hurt. So much. I stroked his face softly, and willed him not to fall into his ocean of blood, willed him to live. Begged him to. Used my love for Kujaku as a shield between him and death, whispering :

"Do not die... Please..."

A hand rested gently on my shoulder. Yasha said :

"Someone is coming. We must go. Quickly."

I shook my head.

"But... Kamui... We cannot leave him..."

Ashura shook her head, facing the sound of footsteps.

"If Fuuma left, it means this place is held by friends of Kamui. They'll take care of him. To stay would be dangerous. There are too many things we don't understand. We must leave."

Kujaku held out a hand to me and I took it. I looked at the young man lying on the floor and cried. I whispered :

"I was wrong. I misjudged him... He..."

Kujaku pulled me forward, shaking his head.

"We were all wrong Fiona. Come, please !"

I let him draw me to the outside.

As we exited the swimming pool, we bumped into a young man with blonde hair who yelled :

"Hey ! Who are you ? Stop !"

Yasha pushed him away violently and we ran.




The moon was high in the night sky. I looked at it for a long time, and then went to the stables. The horses made no sound, used to my scent. I went to Cloud's stall and leaned on its door, sighing. Sleep eluded me. Hell, I was afraid of closing my eyes. As we had come back I had gone to the bathroom and rubbed my skin raw. But still my fingers tasted like blood. Kujaku had tried to trick me into taking a sleeping pill, and he had failed. He was the one peacefully resting on the bed. I... I couldn't.

Something soft brushed against my right cheek. I whispered :

"Cloud..."

The big chestnut blew gently against my face and I threw my arms against his neck, hiding my face in his mane, sobbing.

"Oh Cloud..."

I hugged him deserately.

"Why ?... Why did it have to happen ? Why did the Vision have to be true ?"

Cloud whinnied soflty, and I whirled around.

Steve.

I shook my head, closing my hands in fists.

"What... What are you doing here ?"

He reached out to me and I caught his hand. He sighed.

"I came to help you Fiona. To help the pain you feel."

I let him go, turning my back on him and laughing bitterly.

"Sure..."

I felt anger rising inside of me.

"Sure, you delayed us. And Kotori..."

I gritted my teeth.

"Kotori is dead."

Hands rested on my shoulders. I tried to shake them off, but he squeezed gently.

"I'm sorry. Fiona, there was nothing you could have done. Nothing. Even if I hadn't been there. The Fate that could be chosen was not hers. She... She would have died no matter what. Believe me, please..."

I shivered, feeling his distress, feeling the sorrow he felt... for me. Damn, I wanted to tell him to go to hell, to leave me alone, but... I couldn't ignore what I felt. He hugged me gently and I cried, letting the flow of emotions gain over me. He stroked my hair softly, silent. At last, the sobs quietened and he looked at me earnestly.

"Fiona... I want to help you. Your talent is hurting your soul, it is not supposed to be so. Please trust me, let me help..."

I freed myself from his embrace, asking :

"Why should I ? Why should I when I don't even know who you are. Do you expect me to trust someone who wore a mask during years and lied to me ?"

He patted Cloud's neck gently. The stallion blew softly in his face, recognizing him, trusting. He said :

"Because you can feel the truth about me. The truth of my wish to help. As to who I am... I serve a Goddess and was once given a Vision of the End of the World. I never lied to you."

I bowed my head, too tired to think, whispering :

"I've had enough of this. If you can help me not to feel, do so..."

He put his hands on my temples, gently, and made me look at him.

"Nothing can prevent you from feeling. The gift is yours. But you can protect yourself. You can use a shield around your heart and your soul. I will show you."

I closed my eyes.

There was a bright light, surrounded by a beautiful crystal wall. I touched it, pushed, but it wouldn't move. I couldn't reach the light. Was this what he had meant ? Was the bright light his soul ? I pushed a little bit harder, and was suddenly thrown backwards.

I opened my eyes, looking at him. He was holding me. I realised abruptly that my body had felt the shock, and that I had lost my balance. He was smiling.

"Sorry about that. But you're so strong I couldn't let you play with my shield. You could have destroyed it you know. Now let me show you how to build one..."

The light... It was different. It was shining so bright... Was it ?

"Yes, it's your soul."

I looked as a small crystal wall was rising around it, trying to grasp what he was doing. Suddenly, there was a sharp pain in my left wrist.

The jewels.

Panicked, I tried to move but couldn't. The jewel's light merged with the light of my soul, burning. Devouring. I moaned, and instinctively lashed out, trying to defend myself.

"Hush Fiona..."

He was hugging me gently.

"Hush, it's over now..."

I shuddered, freeing myself.

"What have you done ?"

He looked at me steadily.

"Built a shield around your soul, and..."

He sighed.

"What I had to do."

Pain. Sadness. Sorrow. Determination. So strong... He pushed one of my rebel locks of hair away, gently.

"I had to, believe me. I had to or you would have... You must live Fiona. I did it to protect you..."

I couldn't look away, trapped by his icy blue eyes. Every perception told me he was telling the truth. Screamed to me he wanted my forgiveness for this. Hell. What did he think ? I knew he was an empath too, I couldn't trust at face value, I couldn't be sure I wasn't manipulated... As he might well have manipulated me before. Shit. Suddenly, he took one of his blades and held it out to me. I backed away.

"What ?"

He was presenting me with the hilt. The hilt of the most beautiful saber I had ever seen. He smiled.

"This is for you. You aren't so bad with a blade if I remember correctly... It might serve you well..."

My fingers stroked the hilt wonderingly. Gods, that weapon was magnificient. I shook my head, looking at him.

"Why would you give me such a treasure ?"

He shrugged.

"To make amends. For deceiving you. For having let you pick Kotori's death from me and thus being responsible of the pain you're feeling. To give you a way of defending yourself..."

He bit his lower lip.

"Please take it Fiona. I am your friend. I always was. I'll always be. Please... Forgive me..."

I fixed his eyes during a long time. Reason told me to refuse, while my heart wanted to take that sword and forgive him. Finally, my fingers closed around the hilt and I said :

"I will take it. As for forgiving..."

I shook my head.

"I will forgive you what you did to me, but I will never forgive you the death of the people in that skyscraper. And I will never forgive you the death of Kotori..."

I smiled bitterly.

"Just as I will never forgive myself."

He nodded sadly.

"I understand. Then I will leave. I do not belong with you. But I promise you I will be there to help when you need me. I will give my life if need be, but this world will live. I swear it in the name of the Goddess."

He turned and walked away from the stables. I shook my head, feeling a lump in my throat. Shit. Why was I so sad ? He had... I whispered in the night :

"I'm sorry Steve."

He turned his head towards me, smiling wistfully.

"I know."

End of Part 5.


On to Next Part.
Back to Previous Part.

Back to my Fanfic page.