[ Watashi ]

[ Tomodachi ]

[ Saint Seiya ]

[ Clamp ]

[ Fanfiction ]

She didn't turn to face me or acknowledge my presence in any way when I entered the small room. It was true I hadn't made any unnecessary noise or hadn't tried to be conspicuous; but I knew she had heard me coming in. There had been the faintest of tensions in her shoulders for a fraction of a second, it had been so quick another might have missed it...not I. Scanning the room quickly, I saw the neatly folded futon in one corner and the kodachi blade resting against the wall beside it, sheathed. It had been moved since yesterday night, and as I noticed the smell whetstone showing behind the shortsword, I felt something that might have been relief. Relief that she hadn't taken her life in the darkness before dawn.

She had been that far gone when she had broken in the night, but I had left her alone so she could face herself, the recent events and their consequences. It was necessary that she decide on her own whether she wanted to go on or not. It was a good thing she had chosen to live, at least I wouldn't have to explain to her father, to the head of the Sumeragi clan that his daughter and heir had committed suicide in the room of an inn belonging to the Shinsengumi. It would have been...inconvenient.

As I knelt beside her, I noticed she was sewing. She had apparently managed to clean the blood off what appeared to be ceremonial robes of sorts, and she was now attempting to repair the damage the assassin had caused.

The assassin she had known, or rather she had thought she knew.

A mocking smile came to my lips, unbidden, as I watched the part of the cloth that she had already mended...*tried* to mend. Breaking the silence, I told her, "Your sewing skills are lacking, Sumeragi-san."

Her needle froze right above the fabric, and at last she turned towards me, holding it and the cloth out to me. With bitter irony, she said, "Please, Saitou-san. You will certainly do a better job of it than I."

I felt laughter come up my throat, but I refrained it easily. A part of me thought she had managed to surprise me again, and the other saw what was lurking behind the sarcasm. She was wearing the warrior's mask, keeping everything locked inside...as if I was her enemy. But then I could hardly fault her for that. She had been taught a cruel lesson, and her attitude showed that she had understood its point.

I had thought her irremediably broken, but the young woman had an incredibly strong backbone. She was walking the edge, a hair's width away form falling, hesitating. Reluctantly, I admitted to myself that whatever the Sumeragi truly were, they trained and chose their head of clan well, even when that head was to be a woman.

I took the offered needle and robes from her, and started to work, focusing the smallest fraction of my mind on the needle itself. It was child's play, but boring.

"I don't believe this, you really can sew."

There was the faintest of lights in her eyes, and the ghost of a smile on her lips. I grinned at her, and went on sewing. It was a necessity to be able to fix one's clothes, one couldn't always find a woman to repair them at once, and the consequences of walking around with ripped or torn clothes could go from simple stares to recognition by the enemy's party...not to mention a bad cold if one happened to have to go out under the rain.

She shook her head helplessly, waving her words aside, and then silence settled over the small room. While the needle flew on, I watched her as she knelt, her back straight and her eyes once again distant. It seemed the physician I had sent to her had told the truth, her wounds were slight, it was the lacerations upon her heart which were cause for concern.

"Why did you do it?" There was a reproach in the sudden whisper. I didn't reply and she turned towards me with a spark of anger shining in her eyes. "Why did you come to the sakura grove, and how did you know?"

I snorted, shrugging. The questions were ridiculous, their answers trivial. Nevertheless I told her, "You should remember that we agreed we were tacit allies during our last meeting, Sumeragi-san. I told you we would watch you, and watch you we did. When you were reported drinking sake in a cheap tavern some of the Ishin extremists use as a meeting place, my curiosity was awoken."

She tensed at my words, her position suddenly stiff, as if I had struck her. For a fraction of a second a raw, terrible grief burnt in her eyes, mixed with shame before she slammed down her mask again. Musing inwardly, I considered a fascinating possibility.

Could she have been led there by some members of the Ishin? Some adversary faction inside them which opposed the more radical branch? But then this meant...no matter. Even if she had gotten her information on the assassin she called the shadow of her clan from the Ishin, I would never get that or names out of her. She would die first, and I was quite sure she had no true need for the kodachi blade to end her life. Dismissing the subject with an inward sigh of regret, I turned my attention towards the young woman herself and said quietly, mercilessly, "Betrayal hurts, but it's part of life, Sumeragi-san."

She bowed her head slowly, as if burdened by a weight far too heavy for her to bear, and then looked at me, replying in a voice from which she didn't manage to completely keep a mad, painful burst of laughter, "Yes, I know this now, Saitou-san."

I know this now. She had chosen her words well.

A girl raised like a man, to fill the position of a man, in a society where people would stare at her and never, ever accept her.... Of course she had thought herself prepared to face and disclose liars and those who would only pretend friendship in attempts to curry favor, but she was bound to have led a solitary and secluded life. And when a young man has come her way, masterfully mimicking gentleness, caring and friendship.....

She had given her trust, she had opened her heart. She was after all only human, and she was paying a high price for discovering that flaw within herself. Coldly, I thought that the best lessons were those which hurt the most, for one never forgot about them afterwards. She would come out stronger from this...if she didn't finally decide to take that little step towards the abyss at her feet.

I didn't think she would. There was something of the wolf in her, something wild and lonely...she would survive. I nodded at her, handing her the finished needlework, and said in reply to her words, "It's good that you do. If you've rested long enough, we should go, and get back to your house. You will want to talk to your father about what happened."

Her eyes widened, every so slightly, betraying shock. As if she hadn't yet realized this was the obvious, mandatory next step.

As if she had been unable to envision the future, stuck in the present and fettered by emotions which choked her spirit.

She bowed her head in acceptance of my words, and reached out to take back her ceremonial robes from me. When our fingertips brushed, I felt her shaking *inside*. Under the white, rich fabric of her clothes, I allowed our hands to come together, fingers intertwined. the contact lasted for no more than a few seconds, and then we both let go at the same moment.

Like the waves of two touching oceans.

She smiled then, a painful but beautiful smile, and she said, "Thank you, Saitou-san."

I nodded silently, noticing the weak light which had come back into her eyes, and wondered why I had felt the senseless impulse to hold her against me. She was but a skinny, too tall tomboy of a woman, with a mind far too stubborn for her own good. She was an arrogant pain no man, myself included, would ever want to live with.

I think she'd be a perfect match for you, Saitou-san.

I snorted, standing up and waiting for her to do the same.

Damn Okita Soushi and his stupid jokes.

"You did *what*?!"

I bowed my head, grinding my teeth in an attempt to send away the overwhelming feeling of shame which had invaded my being. There was outrage in my father's voice, but it was weak compared to the distress and shock which had made him lose his composure. Gathering my courage, or rather what was left of it, I lifted it up my head, and repeated, "I went to confront the Sakurazukamori, to tell him he had to put a stop to his game, to tell him that if he had scores to settle with the clan he do it without involving innocent people."

My father raised a hand to his brow, as if overcome by exhaustion, and whispered almost inaudibly, "Foolish bravery, Tokio, foolish...." He shook his head sorrowfully and added, "Dear spirits, must there be a Sumeragi at each generation who is cursed with such a heart and such a thick veil over her eyes and mind?"

With a heavy sigh, he waved his words aside, dismissing them, and turned towards Saitou Hajime, bowing. "My gratitude and that of my clan for having saved my daughter's life. You took a great risk in fighting one who is a master assassin such as you cannot imagine." My father stared steadily at the captain of the Shinsengumi's third troops. "I hope you haven't attracted his interest, for he is a formidable hunter with a taste for the most cruel games."

Saitou Hajime bowed ever so slightly, and then a pleasant smile appeared on his lips. "Thank your for your concern, but it's unwarranted. What I saw was evil at work, without a shadow of a doubt. We are Shinsengumi, and as such we will destroy it."

The lazy confidence in Saitou Hajime's voice was incredible. I knew that if I closed my eyes I would see him as a great wolf comfortably lying down beside a maple tree, shaded from the direct light of the sun but still basking in its warmth, eyes half closed in contentment. He didn't know, he didn't understand what it was he proposed to do. To hunt the hunter....

My father shrugged slightly, his eyes growing distant. "I may not advise you on your course of action, it's not the Sumeragi's way to take part in wars; but still you should know that this assassin has existed for countless years, like us. It would be dangerous to go against him, he is merely an element of the whole, necessary to the balance, like night is needed in order for day to exist." He bowed deeply. "Now, if you will please excuse us, I need to talk to my daughter."

Saitou Hajime nodded. "Of course." He stood, and followed my father out of the room. As he was about to step into the corridor he turned towards me and said, "Sumeragi-san, it's possible I will require your assistance in the future concerning this matter, "he grinned as he added with more than a bit of irony, "so far as your clan's rules allow, of course."

I stared at him, taken aback, and belatedly remembered I ought to bow deeply in thanks. What he had said...it would force my father to leave me a bit of freedom. I listened to my heartbeats for a while, wondering why Saitou Hajime had done that. He knew the consequences his words would have for me, I was certain of that. But why....?

Fingertips brushing mine under the fabric of my ceremonial robes, hands clasping, fingers intertwined.

His arms wrapped around me when sorrow had engulfed me.

I blinked as those memories sprung to the fore of my mind, unbidden. Without Saitou Hajime, I would have died, but he had done more than to simply save my worthless life, he had saved my sanity. I knew that as clearly as I knew the sun rose and set in the sky every day. What I didn't really know was why, beyond my value to him as an information source. Perhaps that was all there was to it, but I found myself wishing there was more. It was strange, but somehow I could find some rest when that arrogant wolf was close. Somehow I could find strength in the feeling of his presence beside me.

Aloof, contemptuous and insufferable though he was, Shinsengumi who lived for his sword and destroying evil instantly, killing and spilling blood though he was...he was the only one with whom the mask could slip away, if only a little bit. He was the only one I could still afford to...trust.

"Tokio." I looked at my father, who had come back to kneel in front of me. His eyes searched my face as he asked, "Are you whole?"

Whole.... I should have known that my father would feel there was something beyond my carefully composed façade. I allowed a faint smile to come to my lips and replied, "I will be, eventually."

He nodded, and I saw the sadness in his eyes. Sadness, not anger. Not reproaches.

Sighing softly, he said, "I know you acted to protect the balance of the city, listening only to the generosity and courage of your heart. I understand, even if you should never have attempted such a folly." His eyes locked on mine and he went on in a quiet, gentle voice, "You have played right into the shadow's game, Tokio. I know, I almost made that mistake myself. Had we not intervened, he wouldn't have pushed it, he would never have tried to touch the true core of the seals. But you confronted him. Now he's going to go through with it, and we will be left with no choice but to defend the city's spiritual balance." He bowed his head. "Now that he has been given a reason, a justification, nothing can stop the wheel from turning anymore. It's like an avalanche, once it has started, it will grow and grow, taking away everything in its wake."

Claws of ice tore at my soul when I heard that, for I understood what my father was saying. I had seen the Sakurazukamori, I had *felt* him, and I knew it to be true.

I knew.

I closed my eyes as I felt the warrior's mask starting to crack again. I held on to it with all the will I had. Desperately. A mocking voice in my head reminded me of Okita Soushi's words, and of Himura Kenshin's. Civil unrest breaking out into civil war, combined with an open confrontation between us and the assassin for the seals guarding Kyoto.... Darkness closed around me as I brought the two images together and saw.

We would destroy it all.

I bent down, I fell, and barely caught myself with a hand on the floor. My fingers raked the wood, and I shook my head, fighting the paralysis, fighting the overwhelming urge to run away, to hide and huddle in a corner. I couldn't let despair wash over me like this, I had to--

The fingers of my right hand encountered the hilt of the kodachi on my side, and on instinct I unsheathed it partly. My expression masked by the hair invading my face, I stared at the naked blade on the floor, unblinking.

Opponents won't kindly wait for you to be in the right mood before attacking.

I shifted the position of my fingers, holding the shortsword by the blade.

Show me who you are, Sumeragi Tokio.

Feeling a cold, icy smile come to my lips, I suddenly gripped the blade tight, focusing on the pain as its razor-sharp edge cut into the flesh and watching as bright red blood tainted the steel and formed a small crimson pool around it. Eventually I managed to eclipse all the useless, choking emotions swirling within me, and carefully let go of the kodachi, looking up at my father and whispering fiercely, "I will fight to stop that which I caused, father. I don't care about the consequences, I will fight to repair the damages brought about by my stupidity." I rose, taking the shortsword with me, and added in the same time, "You have Yuta. I'm sure my little brother will pass the trials and be a good head for the clan. You have no need for an anomaly like me."

When I left the room I heard my father's voice come to my ears, calm, as he said, "My daughter has no authority to dictate my or the clan's choices, no matter how headstrong or rebellious she is. You *are* the heir, Tokio. And heir you will remain."

Had it been pride I had felt coming from him? With a sad smile I shook my head and went away. It didn't matter, my path was set. Now I had to clean my blade, and send a message. There was no time to waste.

I spotted him waiting under the shadows cats by the roof and advertisement flags of a restaurant, behind the thick crowd filling the street, and sighed in relief. He really had come. I had expected him not to, but I was happy to see my intuition had been correct. I quickly walked towards him, and as I reached his side, Himura Kenshin bowed, almost imperceptibly.

"Tokio-san, I am glad to see you're safe." His beautiful night-colored eyes were as cold as always, but I could feel the tension in his stance. Nodding at him, I started walking away and he followed me, silent.

Once we reached a safer area, I told him in a whisper, "I failed, Himura-san." Bowing my head, I added, "I gave it all I had but my enemy was far too strong for my inadequate talent."

A hand brushed my right shoulder, and I looked at him, surprised. There was still nothing to be read from his eyes, but he said, "You faced a master assassin with a non-killing attitude. You would have needed years of experience to have a chance at winning."

I sighed wearily. "I k now, just as I know neither my father nor any of the clan would have moved against the Sakurazukamori, with good reason. My goal was not to fight him, but to convince him to stop.... He didn't feel like being convinced." I stopped, and stared steadily at the red-haired samurai, telling him in deadly earnest, "With my futile attempt, I have unwittingly stirred the still water. He will carry it to the end, now." I clenched my fists. "Himura-san, you must believe me. No matter how true or justified your cause is, you must stop. You must stop while there's still time. If you do not, events will get out of hands, you will lose control and your war will only serve to fuel ours, for the Sumeragi will be forced to rise in defense of the seals of the city when the Sakurazukamori starts destroying them in earnest. He was only toying with us before..." My voice dropped to a barely audible whisper, "toying with me." I bit my lower lip, sending the memories back, and managed to go on. "Our confrontation will fuel chaos, it will fuel your war while yours fuel ours in its turn. It will be a spiral without end, until there is nothing left."

I searched his face for signs my words had reached him, but saw nothing, not the slightest reaction at all. Shaking my head, I said, pleading, "You cannot want this! How could you build a better, fairer country over the corpses of countless innocent people? Don't you understand me? This city, its people and the seals, the spiritual balance, they are bonded, they are tied as the body and the soul are! One side influences the other and the reverse is true as well. Don't you see?!"

His hands rested on my shoulders, gently squeezing, and he nodded, replying quietly, "I understand perfectly what you're trying to say, Tokio-san, but it is no longer my place to consider such things, my choice was made when I left my own shishou. I am only hitokiri, a sword wielded by a master. I am a killer, nothing more, and I have no power or influence to put an end to anything."

I bowed my head, feeling tears come to my eyes when I heard him saying what was nothing else than the truth.

When I felt the firestorm of unnamed emotions almost completely hidden behind the veil of ice shrouding his heart.

"Katsura-san has felt the change in the wind, and I am sure he will fight to protect the people of Kyoto. He has ordered that Tomoe-san and I leave the city." I looked at him sharply, bewildered. His hands released me, and he nodded. "Yes, it's that bad, Tokio-san. You should go away as well, and go some place safe. If you and your clan are gone, your shadow might perhaps even follow as well."

I chuckled sadly. "He won't, Himura-san. Because he knows..." I gritted my teeth, chasing despair away, "he knows we must remain to protect the city's spiritual side. We must carry out the duty which has been ours since the beginning of Japan."

For the briefest of moments, his eyes were dark, bottomless pools of sorrow and shame, and then they reverted back to the unfathomable sapphires I knew. Bowing, he said, "I understand. May the spirits smile on you and your clan, Tokio-san." With that, he turned away and left.

Gone with the ceaseless tide of people filling the streets.

I fondly patted the old sakura's trunk while I watched the Sumeragi's house in the distance and as I felt the aura around it brightening wit the gathering of power and the teaching of spells. Grinning in the night, I admitted I had underestimated Sumeragi Yuunosuke. I had thought the man a timorous fool but it looked like he wasn't.

It looked like he had a true reason for allowing me to freely play with the city's seals. Perhaps he knew, perhaps he understood the subtle rules of our ancient shadow-dancing far more than I had given him credit to. Tokio herself had tried to avoid confrontation to some extent, so.... Ah well, so much the better if my opponents understood what they were up against and gathered their strength. It would be that more fun.

My eyes narrowed as a particularly powerful spell was released, and I admired the perfection of its shining, intricate pattern of light. That one felt like Tokio, yes I was sure it was hers. I had expected the young woman to try and come at me again, in a desperate attempt which would have been more suicide than battle, but she hadn't done so. Either her father had locked her up in her room, or the girl had somehow pulled all the pieces of her broken self together.

I would soon find out, things were moving rapidly among those stupid fools of the Ishin. Now that they had decided that Katsura Kogoro was a bridle to their grasp for power and that as such he was to be ignored, they were left alone to dive down the path of chaos.

And they were doing so, with such blind, impossibly stupid enthusiasm even I had been surprised.

Walking away from the spectacle of the Sumeragi house, I thought to myself that I was also growing impatient. It was time I shifted from insignificant random seals to those which were the true heart of the city. Then, the Sumeragi would rise, there was nothing else they could do. And everything would fall apart, just like the extremist faction of the Ishin wanted.

Chuckling softly, I let the darkness envelop me as I went in search of my first prey of the night.

I sighed wearily, kneeling down at the edge of the terrace in order to be as close to the garden's cool pond as possible. Had anyone seen me now, a woman wearing men's clothing but trying to refresh herself with a very much woman's style fan, they would have laughed. With a wry smile, I acknowledged the fact that I was indeed a more than comical sight. It was my father's fault, he had stubbornly refused to lend me one of his own fans, so I had been stuck with using one of mine. If Soushi had been here....

I would have become the laughing stock of Kyoto.

Damn it, but the weather was getting so hot. After the harsh winter, it seemed we were to be cursed with an early, blazing summer. Just what I loved. Leaning back against one of the wood poles supporting the roof, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine there was a gentle breeze caressing my cheeks.

The sound of people yelling in the distance brought me abruptly awake. Blinking in confusion, I looked around me and realized the sun was setting. I had slept for two hours at least. Hell, I had no time to indulge--

The cries came again, a bit closer, and I stood, wondering what was going on outside. Absentmindedly noticing what looked like faint, thin clouds over the horizon, I got back inside the house, curious to know what it was that had awoken me.

"Tokio-san! Tokio-san!" I looked on my right to see Hiroko running towards me, fear and distress written all over her face. "It's horrible!" Reaching my side, she gripped my left arm hard, as if in need for support. "Fires! They're setting fires all over the city!"

What?!

I stared back at her, numb. Uncomprehending. Who could do such a mad thing? It couldn't be true, there certainly was a mistake in her--

Power, rising like a river in spade.

Two swirling shafts of light, soaring up in the sky.

Like....

Dragons.

Winning free of the maid's grasp, I ran madly towards the shrine. When I pulled its door open and stepped in, I saw my father standing in the center of the most powerful shield I had ever seen, his eyes focused on something only he could see.

Father....

Just as I entered, he finished releasing the spell and turned towards me. There was nothing to be read on his face, it was a mask of ice. The warrior's mask I had worn to face Sakurazuka Keisuke. Harshly mastering my emotions, I asked him in a carefully controlled voice, "He's started going for the core of the seals, hasn't he?"

My father smiled coldly. "Yes, it has begun." Gesturing towards the left of the shrine, he added, "He's a powerful one, I do not know how long my shield can hold. A few hours at most."

Nodding, I started focusing my mind while I told him, "It's okay, I'm ready. Just let me enter the pattern, and together--"

"No, Tokio."

I froze.

Gentleness came into my father's smile as he went on, "It's out of the question. I have given orders to keep the household safe. You and Hiroko will go in the mountains to the clan's estate and wait out the danger there. Yuta is safe with the elders. Your mother will stay, because I cannot order her to leave if she refuses. But you, my daughter, are going."

"What?!" I took a step towards him, unable to help myself, and forced myself to stop. Focusing on calm, I added in a neutral, reasonable voice, "Father, this is senseless. What have we been doing together during all these days if not preparing to face this together once the moment came? Alone you stand almost no chance--"

He cut me off with a halting gesture. "You underestimate me, Tokio," he smiled ruefully, "but it's all right. I have always maintained this façade of apparent weakness to fool our opponent, and your reaction tells me it's likely he took the bait as well." Sorrow and pride came to his eyes, and he told me, "I've never been preparing you to fight this war by my side, Tokio. I have been training you and teaching you all you must know as my heir. Now you are as ready as you can be. You will make a fine head for the clan." He sighed. "I know you will feel this like a betrayal, but that's the way of things."

He had made himself expendable, while I no longer was.

Shaking my head wildly, I exclaimed, "Damnit, father! I will never accept that, you can't make me abandon you like--"

"Forgive me for disturbing you, sir, but he's here and you said to lead him to you at once." I whirled around to see the bright colors of the Shinsengumi on a tall, thin man who looked more like a wolf than a human being.

Saitou Hajime entered our house's shrine, where no stranger had ever set foot before him. Through the open door, I saw the thick smoke I had mistaken for clouds earlier swirling in the sky. The sky which was glowing red instead of darkening with the coming of twilight.

The Shinsengumi captain said curtly, "Hurry it up, Sumeragi. I have no time for you. Those Ishin fanatics are setting fires all over Kyoto, and my men need me."

"I know, and I thank you for coming nevertheless, Saitou Hajime. While you fight your war with flames, I will fight mine against our clan's shadow. You gave me your word when we last met three days ago. I now need you to keep the promise you made."

Promise?

Three days ago?

I faced my father, whose eyes had grown distant as he had started focusing his will for another spell. I felt power rising, and then something brushed my soul.

I love you, my daughter. Farewell.

No.... No! Fingers closed around my left arm, pulling me back with incredible strength, and in the same time I understood what Saitou Hajime's promise was. In the blink of an eye, my decision was made. Turning towards him and closing my right hand into a fist, I hissed, "Release me!"

Without waiting for an answer, I struck at him. Something flickered in Saitou Hajime's eyes, something which might have been regrets or understanding, and then he danced to the side, avoiding the blow in a single, fluid motion. Before I could regain my balance fully, something hit my stomach. Dimly, I was aware of pain for the briefest of moments.

Then there was darkness.

I set her down carefully, leaning her against the trunk of a maple tree. She was still unconscious, but it wouldn't last much longer. I gave a small vial to the maid, who nodded at me, fear plain in her eyes. We were on the outskirts of Kyoto, up one of the hills surrounding the city. They were safe enough here. It was high time I joined my men and tried to pull out the hundreds of fires whose blood-reddish glow tainted the night.

I had to go, but if the fool woman woke alone, hell knew what she would do. I had given her father my word, I couldn't let her fall down the abyss of despair and take her own life. She had to have something to hold on to, something....

On impulse, I took off my jacket and gently covered her with it.

Straightening, I sighed. I could do nothing more. Without turning, I told the maid, "When she wakes, make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. And stay here."

Then, without waiting for a reply, I started at a run towards the burning city, right into the fire.

I closed the striped light blue jacket around me, staring fixedly at the city below. It wasn't cold, but I was cold, within. I had awoken only a few moments ago to find chaos had taken over Kyoto. I could do nothing, my father had made sure of that with that fool Saitou Hajime. When I had come to, it had been too late to attempt anything.

Too late to do anything but watch as the whole city was drowning in a sea of fire.

As houses were destroyed.

As people died.

As war called for war, blood called for blood and death called for death in a spiral that nothing would ever stop if the seals were to be broken. Behind me the sky was slowly turning to gray, heralding the coming of dawn.

It was the beginning of June 1864, and Kyoto was ablaze before my eyes. The city was burning, the flames devouring everything I had known and loved.

I watched on, numb, unaware of the passing of time, until somehow the fires started to withdraw, ever so slightly. I closed my eyes, *feeling* for the core of Kyoto, and found balance there. Fragile but still, a balance. My father's wards had held.

"Tokio-san." I opened my eyes as I felt Hiroko tugging at the sleeve of Saitou Hajime's jacket, and saw what she was pointing at.

That wretched Shinsengumi captain was climbing up the hill, his face and clothes blackened by the fire and covered with ashes. Absentmindedly, I noticed his clothes were also spattered with blood. I waited, feeling empty. I should have been angry, furious against him for what he had done to me, but it had ceased to matter. Everything had ceased to matter when confronted to the scope of the devastation caused by man's lust for power.

He came to stand beside me, watching the city like I did, silent. I could see people fleeing the fire, unaware that the worst of it was over, as tiny as ants in the distance. Fleeing and abandoning everything they had owned.

Everything which had defined their lives.

"We stopped it." Saitou Hajime's voice wasn't as carelessly ironic and mocking as it usually was, weariness had seeped into it, that even he wouldn't completely restrain. "I thought it would engulf the whole city, but a bit less than an hour ago we managed to prevent it from spreading any further. I passed by your house in coming here..." his eyes met mine, and he added in a quiet whisper, "there is nothing left, I'm sorry--"

I cut him off softly, smiling. "My father and mother are dead, I know, Saitou-san. My father fought to protect the seals and he prevailed, but the price to pay for that was his life. He knew it when he started setting the wards. He set himself as a target, and the Sakurazukamori obliged." I gestured helplessly, adding in a matter-of-fact voice, "You' won't find any trace of the assassin. Now that it's over, he'll go back to the shadows and disappear." I blinked, swallowing back the sudden urge to scream grief and fury at the heavens. "Now that it's over, I am the head of the Sumeragi clan."

I froze as I felt Saitou Hajime's hand on my right shoulder, and I realized he was looking straight at me. His dark, cold eyes were set on me, knowing. "You don't need the warrior's mask with me, Tokio-san. I can see what you hide behind it. You can let go, there is no shame in grief when one has lost what you have."

Lost what I had...lost what we both had, what Hiroko and the simple folk of Kyoto had. What could compare to that? What could ever heal the searing pain in all those hearts? I looked away from him and stared up at the sky in which the first lights of dawn were mixing with the dark, angry red of the fires. It would be so much easier to allow grief to claim my soul, to allow it to grow, locked within, until that festered wound took me whole and I was no more. So much easier...cowardly.

And would the wolf at my side snarl or mock me if I chose so, if I decided to stop fighting, to stop being myself? A small voice inside me chided me for wondering about such stupid questions. What did I care if Saitou Hajime despised me? He was just...just the person who had once offered me a shelter where sorrow, grief and shame could exist, even if only for a brief moment.

I exhaled deeply, focusing on the action of releasing the air from my lungs and trying to master the tremors running through my body. I clenched my fists at my side, and tears slowly started to run down my cheeks. I was alone, and now I would always be. That terrible truth hurt, hurt so much I wished someone would tear my heart out of my chest so I would stop feeling this pain. Suddenly, Saitou Hajime's arm came around my shoulders, and, with slow deliberation, brought me against him. I tensed, ready to break his embrace and flee, but he said, so softly it was barely a whisper, "You don't have to be alone, Tokio-san."

I let out a short, painful sound which was more croak than laughter, shaking my head. "What are you saying, Saitou-san? Look at me, I am what I am, and there is no going back for me. The clan--"

He made me turn to face him, and reached out to me, wiping away my tears with such gentleness that I went silent, staring at him, eyes wide. With something like annoyance in his voice, he snorted, "Stupid woman, I'm saying that I'll walk the path with you if you wish me to. A lonely wolf and an insufferable young woman who spends her time wearing men's clothing.... We're well-matched, don't you think?"

I almost laughed again, but he was serious. He truly meant what he had just said. And a part of me *wanted*.

Wanted so much.

"Perhaps."

I barely heard my faint reply. It was too much to hope for, it couldn't be real certainly. I bowed my head, resting it against his chest, and closed my eyes, both unwilling and unable to keep on thinking. "I'm so tired."

He hugged me tight, saying softly, "I know." His lips tenderly brushed my hair in a kiss while behind us the sun rose above the hills.

Dawn had come. Dawn, the other side of twilight. It brought hope and allowed one to dream of possibilities, if one could see beyond grief, if one was willing to risk following one's irrational heart.

"Yes." The simple sound came from something, deep inside me, which stubbornly wanted to keep on living. Something which suddenly found within itself the willingness to make this insane bet called love.

I smiled despite myself when I felt Saitou Hajime tense against me, and then relax. So, for once in his life the wolf had been unsure, and hadn't been able to keep doubts and relief completely hidden. In a way, it could be seen as quite flattering. Eventually I looked up at him, and Saitou Hajime smiled then. The warrior's mask had slipped away, to let a fierce light shine in his eyes.

I searched his face for a while, until at last I realized this was true, as real as the new day. Then I finally let go completely, burying my head in his chest, and I wept, freeing all the emotions I had kept inside until now. I cried as sobs shook my body, but it was all right. Because I could feel him against me, and because I knew he was there for me, as he had been before.

Because he knew, and accepted me for what I was.

Before us, the fires in the city were dwindling, little by little. Kyoto would survive, thanks to the actions of nameless people and of the troops called Shinsengumi. It was the beginning of June 1864, and an old era was dying.

The storm of change was upon us, and nothing would be able to stand in its way.

End.

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