[ Watashi ]

[ Tomodachi ]

[ Saint Seiya ]

[ Clamp ]

[ Fanfiction ]

The light of morning was coming inside the bedroom through a window on my left. Someone had lifted up the Venetian blind to let the sun come, and reach me.

It was a gentle light, one that didn't hurt.

There was pain, very distant inside of me.

Unimportant.

I was feeling rested.

At peace.

I smiled, whispering :

"Is this what the afterlife looks like ?"

Gentle laughter resounded beside me.

"No..."

I looked on my right, to see Seishirou sitting beside me on the bed.

Seishirou ?

He held out a steaming cup of tea.

"Are you thirsty ?..."

I nodded, realising suddenly that he was right.

Carefully, he slid a hand behind my neck, helping me to sit up and raising the cup to my lips. I tried to lift an arm to take the cup myself, but shockingly realised I couldn't.

It was just too hard to move.

It didn't hurt, it was just... Too hard.

I numbly drank a few swallows, and then he gently propped me up against a pile of pillows.

I looked at him for a few seconds, then asked :

"Why am I alive ? How can this be ?"

He smiled.

"You live because you are the most stubborn and contrary person I have ever met. Your heart simply refused to stop beating when it should have..."

He gently poked at the tip of my nose with his right forefinger.

"And I am alive because you are not an expert at killing. Had you had a bit more experience, you would definitely have killed me. As it was, you simply caused me a very serious and painful injury..."

His fingers brushed through my hair.

"You should have learnt to use that knife properly before coming to challenge me. You may be uncannily good when practising Kyudo, but handling a knife is very different than bending a bow..."

I shook my head, uncomprehending.

"But why ?"

He chuckled softly.

"Ah..."

He stared at me steadily.

"First, I found myself wishing that this hunt never end... Anyway, more importantly... Because you must answer a question for me Kassandra..."

His fingertips stroked my right cheek.

"Is what you said really true ?"

I looked back at him.

Beyond the smile, I could see the icy cold eyes of the assassin.

Unwavering.

I could see the predator, the man who knew no mercy.

I could also see the man who had held me in his arms, and who had danced the Dress Waltz with me.

There wasn't fear in my heart anymore.

No...

I was not afraid of the truth, I could see it.

I could accept it.

This mixture of love and pain...

I nodded.

"Yes. I love you Seishirou..."

I smiled.

"I love the whole you..."

I searched his eyes.

"I love Seishirou, and I love Sakurazukamori. You are one person, one does not go without the other..."

Sadness came into my eyes.

"And I know I love one who is not capable of loving. I know you have no feelings whatsoever. I know I am nothing more than a pebble in your path, I know I am as hopelessly grey as this city's skyscrapers..."

I looked into his eyes and let my shields down.

I let my soul be defenceless.

There was a long silence, and then he slowly reached out to me, his fingertips catching a tear on my cheek.

He smiled, whispering :

"I believe you..."

He bent down and kissed me.

Gently.

Tenderly.

I felt tears coming to my eyes.

Beyond the caress of his lips, it was my soul he was touching.

He released me, his eyes still fixed on me.

"I choose you Kassandra..."

He chuckled.

"You are not grey anymore..."

He shook his head.

"You never were grey..."

I stared at him uncomprehending.

"How can this be ?"

He smiled, and showed me the window of the bedroom.

Two falcons were watching us from the other side.

So close to one another...

Seishirou said softly :

"It would seem my shikigami chose a mate... What else could I do ?..."

He shrugged.

"Besides, I could hardly kill you without starting a feud with the Sumeragi clan..."

His fingers gently traced the outlines of my face.

"You are the heir after all..."

I exclaimed :

"What ?!"

He chuckled gently.

"Of course, didn't you know ?"

I suddenly remembered Sumeragi Sayaka's smile and the hope in her eyes, and nodded.

"I guess I should have realised..."

I looked away, feeling sorrow and grief rising inside me.

"Kassandra, what is it ?"

I fought the lump in my throat, smiling sadly.

"Have we been given this so that it can be denied to us before we can even grasp it ?..."

I looked at him.

"What place can there be for us in the order of things ? You are the enemy, you are an assassin, and I cannot..."

He held me tight, softly stroking my hair, and I somehow found the strength to close my arms around him.

Why was I feeling this horrible pain ?

Why was there a cry of despair in my throat ?

He whispered in my ear :

"Hush Kassandra..."

I closed my eyes, focusing on the feeling of his cheek against mine.

"We can have the place we make for ourselves..."

His lips softly kissed my tears, and he laid me back against the pillows.

"That I am Sakurazukamori and you the next head of the Sumeragi Clan means we are reflections of each other. We are opposites, I am your shadow. It means nothing more, we do not have to be at war. We do not have to fight..."

He smiled.

"There must be a balance, and to achieve the balance there must be both darkness and light, night and day, life and death..."

I nodded.

"Life loses all meaning without death..."

I smiled suddenly.

"I thought that the darkness always refused the concept of balance, I thought that chaos was unable to see beyond the anihilation of order, unable to realise that it would destroy itself if it reached its goal..."

He chuckled happily.

"And what makes you think I am chaos ?..."

He shook his head.

"Dark I may be, if you judge me from a human point of view, but..."

He smiled at me.

"Tell me, what do you think is the more stable, what do you think is order ? The darkness of night or the light of a candle which flickers with the slightest breeze ?"

I sighed, smiling back.

"Well, I guess I will have to think on this..."

He nodded.

"You're going to have all the time you need for that..."

He laid a gentle kiss on my brow.

"You will stay with me until you are healed..."

He stared at me steadily.

"Then you will go back to the Sumeragi, and follow the old lady's teachings very carefully, do you hear me my lady ?..."

I couldn't help smiling impishly as he made that remark. The gods only knew how he had guessed I found the lessons boring. I simply hated to have cramps all over my body, to take baths of cold water and to have to skip breakfast...

"Then you will inherit the position of head of their clan, and you will use your gift to help people, as you have always wished to do..."

His hand softly stroked my cheeks.

"I will vanish. You will not hear of me again, but I will keep on being who I am. I will keep taking lives when it suits me to do so..."

He smiled wryly.

"I suppose you will try to find me, to track me down, but you will not be able to. You will have too many things to do to have enough energy to spare for finding me..."

He kissed me deeply.

"And some nights, you will find me waiting for you in your room. I will never follow any pattern, so you will never know when I come to you, and you can never ready yourself to fight me..."

I hugged him, whispering :

"You will not give me a choice, you intend to force me to be happy, don't you ?"

He held me close, and I felt something warm filling my heart.

Something so wonderful it brought both laughter and tears.

He nuzzled my hair softly.

"Indeed, I do my gentle lady..."

I buried my face in his shoulder, relishing the feeling of him.

I wanted time to stop.

I wanted this moment never to end...

But...

"What is it Kassandra ?"

I smiled. I should have known I couldn't hide my feelings from him.

I looked at him.

"I want this so much, but..."

I looked away, feeling shame.

"How can I accept happiness when I know the price is human lives ? Lives you will take ? How can I ?"

Gently, he took my face between his hands and made me face him.

"Kassandra, what will your being happy or not change ? Your love for me has nothing to do with the fact that I will keep taking lives. Why would you have to suffer ? Will it save even a single life ? You know full well that the answer is no. You cannot prevent me from being who I am..."

I looked at him, lost.

It was true...

"I understand your feeling pain for those who will die, but there is no reason for this to gnaw at your soul. Do you know how many people in this world die every day Kassandra ? The lives I take are so few..."

He shook his head.

"Please, do not make yourself suffer for nothing, it would be meaningless..."

His words were true...

Even though I knew I would always feel guilt in my heart...

Even though I knew I would always feel sorrow...

I had told him I loved him.

I smiled, nodding, and he held me tight.

"It is good..."

He released me.

"You must rest now, and gather strength..."

Suddenly, he smiled fondly and I asked :

"What ?"

His lips brushed mine.

"I was thinking that in time, you will yourself choose an heir for the Sumeragi, and that this heir might well be a child of ours..."

Heir ?

And he...

My hand closed on his right arm, squeezing.

"I will never let you die Seishirou..."

He smiled softly.

"You will try to prevent it, contrary as you are..."

I cut him.

"And I will prevent this. If need be, the Sumeragi will have no heir, if that is what it takes to keep this precious balance, but you will not die because some stupid and meaningless tradition demands it, hear me ?..."

I searched his face.

"Customs and rules be damned, they have power over us only if we let them, and I for one won't allow it."

His fingertips lightly brushed my hair.

He whispered :

"Perhaps... I wish..."

On the other side of the window, someone was watching.

A face so unearthly beautiful it seemed to radiate its own light.

Smiling so gently...

Knowing...

It nodded, as if acknowledging my unspoken thought.

On its back, shining, translucent wings unfolded, and it slowly flew away.

This...

I felt tears running down my cheeks.

Tears of joy.

Dreams existed.

"Kassandra ?"

I laughed suddenly, throwing myself in his arms. He held me close gently, his lips brushing my hair and my neck in tender kisses. I whispered softly:

"I saw an angel out the window..."

Well... That wish was not going to be easy to fulfill...

But after all, it might help me to get better.

I blushed as I saw the man kissing the woman passionately.

Theirs was such a fierce love...

His whisper came to my ears and I smiled as it echoed in the morning air :

"Kassandra... Aishiteiru yo..."

I sighed, seeing their happiness, and shook my head.

There was no help for it.

I smiled fondly, thinking that I would defintely have to find a way to make their wish come true.

The man laid the woman down on the bed, bending over her and I felt heat rising to my cheeks.

I had to go away now, it was better to leave them alone.

Yes, definitely better.

I would never get used to some things human beings did.

Never.

End.

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